Norman's Demesne - Seite 2 
40th Anniversary - DEROS, ETS 1971
Forty years ago I was in Long Binh getting ready to go home. I was a real short-timer. I had been in Viet-Nam since November of 1970 but I was awarded an early out to go back to Minnesota for advanced study. My DEROS (date of effective return from overseas service) was June 8, 1971. My flight left Tan Son Nhut at 11:30 pm and landed in Oakland half an hour earlier than it had taken off, thanks to the International Date Line. My ETS (expiration term of service) was June 9, 1971. I was given a fresh set of Army greens and a ticket from San Francisco to Minneapolis. To try to get the whole experience in perspective, I have added a book to my collection. Wiest, Andrew, ed. Rolling Thunder In A Gentle Land The Vietnam War Revisited, Westminster MD: Osprey, 2006.
"Osama bin Laden, as we speak, is living with Spongebob in a pineapple under the sea." –Jimmy Kimmel "He's up to 2,000 friends on Shot In The Facebook." –Jimmy Kimmel "Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals yesterday. They did DNA testing to make sure it was Bin Laden. Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER." –Jimmy Fallon "President Obama gave the order for Navy SEALs to kill bin Laden. When President Bush heard about it, he was really upset, saying, 'I could have used seals?'" –Conan O'Brien “By the way, 'buried at sea'? means 'dumped in the ocean.' That’s what they did with him. They dumped him in the ocean. Now I won't feel so guilty about peeing in the water anymore when I go to the beach."? –Jimmy Kimmel "And so, Osama Bin Laden got his first bath in almost ten years. This could the best shark week ever." –Jimmy Kimmel "Finding bin Laden was like finding a needle in a country that swore it didn’t have needles." –Stephen Colbert "I think the next election just got a lot easier for President Obama 'cause his response to every question during the debates will be: 'Wait, I forget…Did you kill Osama Bin Laden? Or did I kill Osama Bin Laden. Oh no, it was me, wasn't it?'" –Craig Ferguson "It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: 'Yes I Did.'" –Jay Leno "Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like Dick Cheney may have been involved." –Jay Leno "Oddly enough, bin Laden's last words were, 'I hope you at least use this to interrupt 'Celebrity Apprentice.'' –Jimmy Fallon "Osama bin Laden is dead, which means the No. 1 threat to America is now the KFC Double Down." –Conan O'Brien "Bin Laden was living in a house with no Internet access, which explains why there were all those bin Laden sightings at the Islamabad Kinko's." –Conan O'Brien "Osama bin Laden was killed by U.S. forces. Everyone on TV has been really happy. Glenn Beck was crying — and then he found out about Osama." –Craig Ferguson "Looking for Bin Laden was like a 10-year game of Where’s Waldo. Only better because when you finally find Waldo you get to storm his compound and put a cap in his ass." –Craig Ferguson "President Obama must be very happy because he finally took down his arch enemy: Donald Trump. The bin Laden announcement interrupted 'Celebrity Apprentice.'" –Craig Ferguson "Bin Laden lived in this compound in Pakistan with all of his wives for 6 years. So he did suffer." –David Letterman "I would like us to kill bin Laden every Sunday night. It makes for a much brighter start to the week." –Jimmy Kimmel "Oddly enough, bin Laden's last words were, 'I hope you at least use this to interrupt 'Celebrity Apprentice.'' –Jimmy Fallon [source: Dan Kurtzman]
It's All About OBL - May 6, 2011
"The news of bin Laden's death interrupted this week's episode of 'Celebrity Apprentice.' Which begs the question, how do we kill bin Laden again next Sunday?" –Conan O'Brien "The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they've granted President Obama full citizenship." –David Letterman "Osama bin Laden had money and telephone numbers sewn into his clothes. Apparently we got him just as he was on his way to summer camp." -Jay Leno "After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan." –Jimmy Kimmel "Osama bin Laden's death has been in the news all day. Leftish stations are going, 'President Obama saves the world.' Stations on the right are going, 'Obama kills fellow Muslim.'" –Craig Ferguson "How about those Navy Seals. We're getting our money's worth there. They broke into Osama bin Laden's compound with 12-foot walls topped by barbed wire, and fired a warning shot into his head." –David Letterman "Apparently, members of Al Qaeda are online slamming the U.S. I don't understand why they're so upset. Everyone in Al Qaeda just got a promotion." –Craig Ferguson "There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans." –David Letterman "The hot new drink around the country is the bin Laden. It's a Colt 45 and a shot that goes right to your head." –Jay Leno "Bin Laden was buried at sea. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, 'the ultimate waterboarding.'" –Jay Leno "The White House says they will release the Osama bin Laden death photo. Better yet, they’re doing it on a set of limited edition commemorative plates." –Conan O'Brien "What?! Not only did we kill Bin Laden, we killed him in Abottabad! Abottabad sounds like name most New Yorkers would have invented for the fictional place they would have loved to kill Bin Laden." –Jon Stewart [source: Dan Kurtzman]
Zappenin' at 1106-April 21, 2011
BB misses Romy and Sam and likes to perch by their wedding picture. TBH's flowers are starting to come up. The trees are starting to bud. Norman has been doing a lot of walking. The big city snow pile at the end of the street is greatly reduced. Dave had a stent procedure in Brownsville TX. He's doing OK. Lots of funerals among our acquaintanceship. TBH will spend the first weekend in May at Hay Lake with friends. Norman's Adopt-A-Highway trash picking activity will start on Saturday. Our church with the collapsed roof should be restored by mid-August. Next Wednesday Norman starts six weeks at Fort Snelling Historical Site as a greeter. On May 1st there is a History Day competition at the University of Minnesota which means a busy, full day for Norman the Judge. The Hwy 169-Bren Road road construction project will necessitate a search for a new coffee shop. TBH and I will go to our first Twins game on June 18th and celebrate our 38th anniversary in the upper deck of Target Field. Joe Mauer has bi-lateral weakness in his legs and is on the DL. The Twins batters can't hit and the Twins pitchers can't pitch. Spring is here at 1106.
Photo of the month
This is from the National Geographic. Subscribe today for great photos.
TBH and Norman With Aunt Helga
Aunt Helga's funeral was earlier this week. We said good-bye several weeks ago. We will remember her smile and her charm and her wit.
Anniversary of Fort Sumter
The shooting began in earnest on this day in 1861. It is one of the most significant dates in American history. Over 600,00 people died in the four year war.
Glenn Beck - a national joke
"Fox News announced today that Glenn Beck will leave his show later this year. It's nothing personal. He just wants to spend more time with the voices in his head." –Jimmy Fallon "Fox News is dropping Glenn Beck's show. He spent the whole day crying his eyes out, and then he heard his show was getting dropped." –Craig Ferguson On Glenn Beck's complaints that critics of Arizona's immigration are making Nazi comparisons: "Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck — this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel." —Lewis Black, in a brilliant Daily Show rant in which he demonstrated that Glenn Beck has "Nazi Tourette's" "Our good friend, Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska, is a contributor to Fox News. Only been there a couple days. Already making friends. Today, she loaned Glenn Beck some mascara that does not run when you cry." –David Letterman "Some critics are saying that Palin won't last on Fox because she's an over-emotional woman who gets the facts wrong. But I disagree. It's working great for Glenn Beck, so she'll be fine." –Craig Ferguson "But here's how it works. Here's the official line of succession in control of the Republican Party. If Rush Limbaugh is disabled in any way, then control of the party is passed to Glenn Beck. That's the line of succession." –David Letterman "Yesterday, President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station, calling himself 'Barry from D.C.' Then, just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn Beck's radio show as 'B. Hussein from Kenya.'" "Fox News host Glenn Beck has lost over 30 sponsors since he called President Obama a racist. And the latest sponsor that he just lost is Clorox bleach. That's amazing. Even a company whose sole purpose is to make things whiter thinks Glenn Beck has gone too far." --Conan O'Brien "Yesterday on Fox News, commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. Well, to be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." --Conan O'Brien "And as you know, Santa Claus is working very hard with his elves to make sure every child gets at least one toy this Christmas, or as Glenn Beck calls that, 'socialism.'" –Jay Leno "Glenn Beck had an emergency appendectomy, but he'll be back on the air tomorrow. That's right. However, for his first day back, doctors are warning Glenn to take it easy and only compare Obama to Hitler three times an hour." –Conan O'Brien "During the middle of his show, Fox News commentator Glenn Beck was rushed to the hospital for an attack of appendicitis. Yeah. Apparently, Beck was crying and screaming incoherently, so his audience assumed everything was normal." –Conan O'Brien [source: Dan Kurtzman]
More jokes on April 8, 2011
"The White House said that President Obama will not focus on full-time campaigning for a long time. Yeah, he wants to wait a year or two before he gets serious about it -- just like he did with being president." —Jimmy Fallon "President Obama is going to seek reelection. His slogan this time? 'Change you can believe in. This time I promise. Really.'" —Jay Leno "President Obama will run for reelection in 2012. He's not breaking up with us! He wants to work things out! He's forgiving our poor record on post-recession job creation, our incessant demands to be talked to, every time we go to war." —Jon Stewart "President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it's not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate." —Craig Ferguson "So far the Republican field looks like a bunch of guys responding to a Craigslist ad for a free couch." —Stephen Colbert "Officials at BP have filed for permits to drill for oil again in the Gulf of Mexico. They say the oil is easier to find than ever because it's mostly on top of the water." —Conan O'Brien "There's a $376 million semi-secret construction project happening at the White House, and it's rumored that a tunnel is being built underneath. That's a lot of work for President Obama to get away from his mother-in-law. Let the man have a cigarette." —Jimmy Kimmel "I think Obama is building an underground Kenya. A new subterranean land so he can Africanize us from below. I heard that on Fox News." —Jimmy Kimmel "Bravo is canceling 'The Real Housewives of D.C.' after just one season. That's when unemployment is bad, when people who don't even have jobs are losing their jobs." —Jimmy Fallon "Donald Trump said he can't make a final decision about whether he will run for president or not until this season of 'Celebrity Apprentice' is over. Which is maybe the best excuse from a guy who might run for the presidency ever — I am unable to decide on whether or not I will run for President until I decide whether Latoya Jackson or Jose Canseco will be my new Apprentice." —Jimmy Kimmel "Due to the budget impasse, the federal government may shut down next week. There will be another season of 'Jersey Shore,' but the U.S. government is still up in the air." —Conan O'Brien "If Congress can't agree on a budget by midnight Friday, the government will shut down. Democrats are demanding to tax all of the people's money and use it to fund abortions, while the Republicans want to sell the country to Exxon Mobil and relocate gays to Puerto Rico." —Jimmy Kimmel "Members of Congress will still get paid if there's a shutdown. So it will be just like it is now. We'll be paying them to do nothing." —Jay Leno "A lot of public beaches may also be shut down, which could severely whiten John Boehner." —Jimmy Kimmel "It's being reported that Katie Couric will be leaving CBS before the presidential campaigns. Who will be brave enough to ask Sarah Palin questions that should be incredibly easy to answer now?" —Jimmy Kimmel "While covering the war in Libya Geraldo Rivera was shot at by Gaddafi's forces. See, you never hear about the good things Gaddafi does." —Jay Leno [source: Dan Kurtzman]
April 8, 2011-Shutdown jokes and more
"We're heading for a government shutdown. This is serious. Without the government who will fail to inspect our airplanes? Who will fail to secure our borders? Who will put us 14 trillion dollars in debt?" —Jay Leno "The White House may have to lay off all nonessential workers if the government shuts down. You know: interns, pages, Biden..." —Jimmy Fallon "We are just four days away from the government shutdown, which will cripple the VA, Social Security and Medicare. So I get to snuff out one more candle on my Government Shutdown Menorah. Shutdownica celebrates the miracle of telling veterans and the elderly that they can suck it." —Stephen Colbert [source: Dan Kurtzman]