The Rabid Librarian's Ravings in the Wind 
I am so behind
But here goes...Number five...A Total Knee Replacement Handbook: How to Self-Advocate for Your Own Health Care and Well-Being, Before and After Surgery by Carolyn FortunaThis is from a patient's perspective, as opposed to the previous text, which was written by an orthopaedic surgeon and was well-prepared. I'm glad I got one from each viewpoint. Incidentally, both had very similar recommendations, which I found interesting.It's sad that I've only read five books in six months. My goal this year is 36. Maybe I can catch up while I'm laid up. I don't know. In the past, I've generally been unable to read in recovery from surgeries, and mostly it's been listening to music in terms of entertainment for me. We'll see. I'm going to try to make a concerted effort to read this year, I think. Stay tuned to see if that ever comes to fruition. I have several books out from the library that sound very interesting, and the librarian said they wouldn't come after me even if I couldn't return them. (I'll have Brenda do it sometime when she comes over to play the game or maybe if she takes me to the doctor). But I feel like a dragon sitting on a hoard of treasure, anyway. :) Oh, and I have an app on my phone counting down to the big event...I'm now 41 days out from surgery. When it's within 30 I can file for FMLA/short-term disability. It's close. It's starting to get real.I just have to share what my psychiatrist, who is Brazilian, so his first language is Portuguese, not English, said. I told him I was nervous about the procedure and he said, and I quote:Oh, there's nothing to worry about. We just cut off your knees and put in the prosthesis!To which I replied:Dr. X, that does not make me feel better!At this point he realised, after 40 years of practice, that perhaps he'd said the wrong thing, and went into a personal story meant to soothe where his wife had each knee done and the surgeries had gone very well. I was just glad he had gone from medical school into psychiatry rather than orthopaedics. I do not think that sort of bedside manner would fly. Don't get me wrong, I love my psychiatrist. He manages my meds well and I've gone to him for a long time. But, still...I told my therapist (who had been very good about telling me, 'oh, there are so many of these done, I'd much rather have a surgery where so many were done a year rather than one every once in awhile') what he said and she was flummoxed. Mind you, they're in the same practice. I'm not sure if she's allowed to share that so long as no personal information of mine gets shared, but I suspect it will get around the office, as these things do. :)
I sat and cried this morning. I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a picture of buildings in Tel Aviv burning. People in the comments were gleeful about it.Here's the thing.Hamas, which has backing from Iran, did horrific things during the October 7th attacks. Terrible things, things. And they have hostages, after all this time with families who anxiously wonder if they'll see their loved ones again, hostages of different ages and backgrounds, innocent civilians who were going about their day like any of us would, several at a music festival.Netanyahu and his government's reaction was brutal, and it was not aimed not at Hamas, but at the Palestinian people themselves, all in the name of seeking to root out those who planned the attack, but trying to displace as many as they can so they can take back as much territory as possible, in the belief that they are chosen by God and therefore deserve it So many Palestinians have died because of this. Innocents uprooted. So many who had been going about their everyday lives, seeking to raise families, work to make a better life, and better the world, just like most of us. All lost, all turned to dust and blood.Now they've turned to Iran's potential nuclear capability, which has hung over Israel and the Middle East for decades. I have no doubt that if Iran ever manages to build a bomb they will try to obliterate Israel, even though it will blowback on them and cause a greater conflict. There is a madness in the Middle East, and it's catching. When I heard of the attack, all I could think is that Netanyahu will spark the last war we will ever see, the one that will end it all. Countries will condemn, then take sides, and millions will die, and all from one missile attack. I get the need and belief to be proactive, and the fear, but the fact of the matter is that he (and Ali Khamenei, the Iranian head of state) will have so much blood on their hands by the end of this all, as will the leaders of Hamas.All of these are war criminals. But to take glee in the death and suffering of the average Palestinian, Israeli, or Iranian--that is horrible to me, and that is the whole problem with how we get to this situation, by dehumanising the Other. We need to feel for others. To recognise that they're just like us, that they want a lot of the same, simple things: a safe place to raise their families, number one. Some are greedy bastards, true. But overall, I believe most people are good. I'm not so sure about the people who liked what they saw in Tel Aviv. I'm sure there are others who felt the same about pictures of Iranian sites and Palestinian ones. It's because they think in black and white, and that's not how the world works. It never has; it never will.What do I hope to see? Peace. I hope this will end, that it will deesccalate before the world burns, or at least the region. One can hope. But I studied the Arab-Israeli conflict in school (the history of it, and let me tell you, it goes back to a lot of colonial bull crap and doesn't go back to ancient Biblical times, really), and I'm not sure it will ever come to an end. There's something called Jerusalem Syndrome where people who are otherwise rational go there and suddenly become zealots, regardless of whatever side they wind up being on. It's crazy. It's all crazy.Bring the hostages home. Stop the campaign in Gaza and let people go home. Stop the missile attacks. Sanction and cut off the supply of urananium. Stop it all. Try the aggressors for war crimes and stop the madness. Please, just stop.
Only in Kentucky, and better than those 'Florida man' stories, even if it is conflated
Mule-riding Kentucky man accused of unleashing raccoon in bar after being turned awayFrom Googles AI summary: :Jonathan Mason, known as "Cowboy Cody" in the Murray, Kentucky area, was taken into custody after allegedly releasing a raccoon into a crowded bar that had previously denied him entry. He was taken to the Calloway County Jail and faces multiple charges, ]after someone was bitten by the raccoon. Police reported that Mason was forcibly removed from his vehicle after refusing to roll down his window or exit when they initiated a traffic stop. This incident is the latest in a series of arrests for Mason, who was previously arrested in December for leading police on a high-speed mule chase.
Another fall
I got up early to do my Sunday chores, make coffee, and let the dogs out/feed the animals. I was finishing up and was about to wake up my friend, and only had to take out the trash, the litter, some reusable shopping bags, and the recyclables. I also had some soda out in the trunk of the car that I was going to bring in so I'd be awake and perky for the Call of Cthulhu game. I was going down the steps of the porch with the first load and had a sudden pain in my right hip area like I'd pulled a muscle, but I made it on down. This was on top of the sciatica I've been having, which has not only been painful, but it's been making me have trouble lifting my right foot completely--something that's already an issue, as that was the foot that was slightly turned in when I was born but corrected as I grew. I was coming back up and I had to come up with my left foot first, which is my bad side (my bad knee), and it gave out and I somersaulted completely off the porch, thankfully not hitting the concrete or brick as far as I know.I did hit the ground hard and wound up in the front garden on top of the Virginia creeper and a rose bush next to the front porch. I couldn't move at first, and I tried calling my friend (I try to keep my phone on me for this very reason), but he was asleep, and he is very hard to wake up. I tried to sit up, but I was really dizzy. I was contemplating calling 911, but decided to give it another try, and I finally managed to do sit up after the second call. I was skinned up on my right arm (I think that did hit the porch) and pretty much sore all over, especially my right hip and my right shoulder. I called a third time, with no success. I managed to roll over away from the porch, then crawled over to it and bring myself up. I'd thankfully missed the petunias completely, although I'd fallen on a couple of logs. I went up the couple of smaller stairs with my hands and feet, then carefully went up the bigger step that had been the problem before, all without my sandals on, so I'd be in contact fully with the concrete, and picked up the soda and my shoes, and pulled myself over the step into the threshold by using the wall and post. I then put things down. I then stopped my arm from seeping blood where it had been skinned up, walked back to my roommate's bedroom, and slapped him on his leg and woke him up, telling him I'd fallen and he'd slept through the whole thing and I hated how deeply he slept. He did apologise, and we talked about how I could have been there all morning, dead for all we knew, and he'd have gone and gotten his coffee, assuming I'd gone somewhere, and he'd be sitting there watching Charmed, and our friend would find me in the front garden next to the porch laid out on the roses. Anyway, I'm resting now. I don't think I need to go to the ER. I am very sore, especially on my right hip and lower back. My friend told me to make sure not to lie down because I'll just go to sleep and we're not 100% I didn't hit my head, at least on the ground or a log, at least not on the porch, though. The funny thing is it didn't knock my glasses off my head or my earbuds out of my ears. I really did a complete somersault. I was heading towards the door, fell towards the house, and wound up with my feet towards the walkway and my head next to the brick wall, face up, just like I decided to lie down next to the porch for some reason. I need to invest in some heavy-duty bubble wrap, I think I need to start coming in through the back door. There are two smaller steps and a wall to steady oneself with--but the back gate is really hard to open. Sigh. If it isn't one thing, it's another. I guess I won't be going to the pill bottle collection held by one of the UK sororities today. They collect empty, clean bottles to be used in other countries, and collect them today from 1-2 pm at several library locations, but I am not going down those stairs today. PS My roommate gets to take out the recyclables and cat litter after he has some coffee, wakes up, and maybe before he has his study session online. 🙂 UPDATE: My roommate has instituted two new very logical house rules: He will take the trash out from now on (he's already taking the bins to the street, as I can no longer do it).I am not to go up and down the stairs without my cane. In the meantime, there is a temporary rule that I am not to lie down till 10 PM just to be on the safe side in case of concussion. I must admit that while I am not sleepy, I am sore and tired, and I have ice on my butt. It is helping quite a bit. I scraped up my right arm the worst, plus a little on my right pinky and knee
I really need to get to reading
I've only read four books this year. The last one was Your Knee Replacement: A Patient's Guide to Understanding Knee Arthritis, Preparing for Surgery, Maximizing Your Outcome, by Ryan C. Koonce, MD. OrthoSkool Publishimg, 2019. ISBN: 9781733135849 (that's the eBook ISBN).I have had a lot on my plate these days and just have had no time for reading. With the surgeries coming up, I will. I did ask a librarian at Lexington Public the other day about any issues in terms of trouble getting them back to the library as I am the only driver in the house. If I can't return them, that's fine, even if I don't tell them. Most books have multiple copies, and even if not...they don't do fines. I can probably get a friend to get hold or take them back on Sundays when she comes in to play in the game when I'm feeling well, but still, that's reassuring.In the meantime, I have a VERY large to-be-read pile.Here are the books I have out from two different libraries to read:LEXINGTON PUBLIC LIBRARYAllegiance - Stories by Gurney Norman. Old Cove Press, 2022. ISBN: 9781956855029 [Gurney Norman taught me creative writing when I was at the University of Kentucky and is a well-known local author. He was the 2009-2010 Poet Laureate for the Commonwealth of Kentucky].Autism Adulthood: Insights and Creative Strategies for a Fulfilling Life, 2nd. edition by Susan Senator. New York: Skyhorse Publishing, 2018. ISBN: 9781510732711Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World that Wasn't Designed for You by Jenara Nerenberg. New York: HarperCollins, 2021. ISBN: 9780062876805The Electricity of Every Living Thing: a Woman's Walk in the Wild to Find Her Way Home by Katherine May. Brooklyn, NY: Melville House Publishing, 2021. ISBN: 9781612199603 Information Desk: An Epic by Robyn Schiff; New York: Penguin Books, 2023. ISBN: 9780143136804The Jewish Way to a Good Life: Find Happiness, Build Community, and Embrace Lovingkindness by Rabbi Shira Stutman, The Experiment, LLC, 2025. ISBN: 9798893030174The Lifelong Gardener: Garden with Ease & Joy at Any Age by Toni Gattone. Portland, OR, 2019. ISBN: 9781604698534Neurodiversity for Dummies by John Marble, Khushboo Chabria, and Ranga Jayaraman. Hoboken, NJ.: Wiley & Sons, 2024. ISBN: 9781394216178NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman. New York: Avery Books, 2016. ISBN: 9781583334676Nurturing Nature: A Guide to Gardening for Special Needs by Jill Mays. Future Horizons, 2024. ISBN: 9781963367058. (this is aimed at helping autistic children, but I figure a lot still applies)Off the Spectrum: Why the Science of Autism has Failed Women and Girls by Gina Rippon. New York: Seal Press, 2025. ISBN: 978-154160-502-2Part of Our Lives: A People's History of the American Public Library by Wayne A. Wiegand. New York: Oxford University Press, 2015. ISBN: 9780190248000The Pattern Seekers: How Autism Drives Human Invention, a 70,000-year History by Simon Baron-Cohen. New York: Hachette Books, 2020. ISBN: 9781541647145A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD: Embrace Neurodiversity, Live Boldly, and Break Barriers, by Sari Solden and Michelle Frank. Oakland, CA.: New Harbinger Press, 2019. ISBN: 978-168403-261-7 [which, when I went to grab the ISBN on Amazon (because the book unhelpfully just says Library of Congress Cataloguing-in-Publication Data on File and doesn't even include the ISBN) I bought on Kindle 5 years ago, so I might as well give that one back for someone else to read. :)]Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, New York: Harmony Books, 2022. ISBN: 978-0-593-23524-9The White Storm: How Racism Poisoned American Democracy by Martin Gelin. Essex, CT: Prometheus Books, 2025. ISBN: 978149308351UNIVERSITY OF KENTUCKY LIBRARYJulian's Gods: Religion and Philosophy in the Thought and Action of Julian the Apostate by Rowland Smith. London: Routledge, 1995.ISBN: 0415034876So 17 on the TBR pile. Whew. Let's see if I can get through them all. That would put me at 21 if I can get through them all, so still 15 more after that (the goal is 36). I also need to look at a book on shoulder surgery that I've already read, which I own, that has exercises for my right rotator cuff. I'd hurt it picking up a box of kitty litter back in March, but we'd decided to just do home exercises like I did with the left after that surgery, rather than do surgery on the biceps and rotator cuff on this one, both of which are torn. I need to get it strengthened before I go into my knee surgery as I'll need better upper body strength.I did cancel my Kindle Unlimited subscription because 1) DEI and 2) I'm tired of giving money to billionaires and instead have been buying locally or from other companies such as Better World Books. alibris is another one. But for Kindle books, I'm stuck with Amazon. :(Okay, that's a long post. I've got to wrap this up. I think it's been an hour or more!
Also terribly sad. This so needs to end.
From A Mighty Girl
To catch up, post #2
September 2021 May 2025_______________ ____________Weight: 328 lbs. Weight: 228 lbs.BMI: 57.6 kg/m2 BMI: 40.1 kg/m2Size: 4x - 30/32 Size: 2x - 18/20I've been given the go-ahead to have my knee replacement surgery this summer, contingent on my HbA1c, which a home-test says is 7.3, but yesterday I had an official lab draw and it was 6.4!!!!!!!!I have dental work scheduled for June 24th. I have to wait 3-4 weeks after that to do the first surgery, so sometime in late July or August. But I should be able to call Monday and, barring any trouble with my bloodwork, etc., go ahead and at least schedule. I'm nervous yet excited. This is all getting quite real.I feel much better physically than I did back then. I'm not so winded when I bend over. I do have more pain in my knees in some ways because my cartilage is completely gone, but still...it has to be helping. And it's nice to be in sizes I haven't been in since at least 15 or 20 years ago. I do have a little impostor syndrome going on. The medication has been a big part of it. I still eat badly at times. I'm hungry in the morning but not at night as a rule, and that helps. I'm not very active because of my knees. I'm trying to do chair yoga, though. My insurance has a benefit where you can get into a lot of fitness online for $10 a month (or in-person and online for more in tiers).It's now officially 100 lbs. That last pound has been elusive, and I've been retaining some water of late, so I've been fluctuating up to 232 or so. But I got a little dehydrated from a cold and went down to 225, and today I'm exactly at 228, so I'm right at the 'hey-I-lost-exactly-a-hundred-pounds-mark-and-I'm-happy!I feel pretty good. I've lost almost a whole person. I'd like to get down to 200. I think that I'd feel best there. The 'normal' weight for my height is insanely 145, which I think would be too thin for me. Even in high school, I was 180. The last time I was 145, I was in 6th or 7th grade and four inches shorter! But 200 would be nice, a BMI of 30.5 (right on the edge of class 1 and class 2 obesity, but well under severe obesity). It's ridiculous how low you have to go to get to overweight. I know BMI is not the best measure, anyway. But I know I felt well at 200 lbs, and I hope with the knee replacements I can finally be more active and achieve that by being able to walk.v
So sad
I don't care how you feel about politics. This is still wrong. Murder does not repay murder does not repay murder. Innocent Palestinians should not be dying. Innocent Israeli civilians should not have been killed during the October 7th attacks by Hamas. This young couple should not have died. He had bought a ring and was about to propose to her. A whole life ahead of them, eradicated. So many lives stolen. So much blood. When will this end?2 Israeli Embassy staff shoot and killed in front of Capital Jewish Museum in DC
I have been a very busy girl today
Originally I had planned to take some things to my storage unit, as it was a pretty day, but I ran out of steam. Unfortunately it's going to rain the next three days, so my next opportunity is Thursday, but I get off at 4:30 PM, so I think that's doable. They're winter clothes and photographs, mainly. My stepmother sent me five boxes of photos, some in frames, from my father's side of the family. I just don't have the room here; I live in my friend's library, essentially. But I got everything else, small and large, accomplished. Go, me. [I didn't make a list yesterday, but it was fairly decent in terms of being productive but balanced with rest, too.]Time for bed. Good night.
Given to me on my birthday last month by a co-worker
Subtle, yet subversive
Flourish. Dream. Thrive.
Wise words
Shinedown used this song as a fundraiser during Covid, and it's still very got wonderful lyrics...
I have almost obsessively been listening to the Shinedown station on Pandora, and I'd not heard this song before. Looking into it (it was a single, because it didn't quite make it onto their album Amaryllis), I found out that it was originally given to donor as part of a fundraiser for first responders during the Covid epidemic. The photos took me back to that time, which wasn't so long ago, of course, but seems like such a different world. As a healthcare worker (albeit not a first responder), I was considered an essential employee and continued through the whole pandemic. I also made it through the pandemic without Covid, only getting it last October. I have seven vaccinations total, and I credit that with a lot of it, as well as handwashing, masking, and social distancing. My roommate got it when I did, so it was a bit of a health scare, but we both wound up with something akin to a bad flu, and I kept testing positive, so I was off work for ten days, with burned some of my extended illness bank. But I was thankful it wasn't worse. To give you some idea of how seriously it was treated in this house, he (for good reasons I won't go into) still has me wash my hands as soon as I come through the door and wipe down groceries with disinfecting wipes (although I think the efficacy of the latter was kind of debunked early on, if it makes him feel better, it's alright).Anyway, the song is excellent. Kudos to Shinedown for doing their part in helping, and then making it widely available. It was their record-breaking eighteenth number one hit (I think they're way past that now), and I'm glad I found it.
Wow...I've missed two whole months of posting...
Sorry about that. I've been a bit busy. I've:Taken a new position at workHave been trying to work on my health, particularly my shoulder and dizzinessHave a new diagnosisStarted with a new behavioural therapistWrapped up with three health providers (two are retiring)Have had an MRI and determined the cause of the freaking amount of pain I've been inHave been really tired and in pain, so I've been crashing a lot-------PART ONE:The Health EmergenciesSo, in February, I had not one, but two, emergency room visits. The first was a haemorrhagic urinary tract infection, where basically my back hurt all day, I was in some pain, and then suddenly I couldn't pee despite really needing to do so and feeling like I was going to burst, and then suddenly I was peeing blood instead. This was alarming, so I called my primary care provider, who thought I might be passing a kidney stone, so called a friend to take me to the ER [I'd had some reason I couldn't drive, I think, either a medicine or car trouble], where I found out after many hours and imaging (CT scans) that I did not have a kidney stone, but rather a raging E. coli bladder infection--something I hadn't had for years, and which I'd never had this particularly type of before. Apparently blood seeps from the lining of the bladder. But they wouldn't let me go until I could produce a urine sample, which was something like five hours, and then it was such a scant amount, barely the minimum they needed to run the test. I got put on two fairly major antibiotics. I had an excuse but went to work the next day feeling like crap because I couldn't afford and occurrence. We'd had bad weather in January and I'd had one where I'd got stuck on the glazed icy street after a snowstorm and the tow truck couldn't get down my street. My boss had told me to stay home before I could suggest trying to take the bus in, so I did. But I got an occurrence. So there was that. I couldn't afford to take one. But between my coinsurance for my medication and that visit, I met my out of pocket for my health insurance, so that was something, at least.Then, about the time I got over that, I went to get kitty litter while doing my chores before the Sunday Cthulhu game, I picked a 25-lb. box of Fresh Step off the shelf and tried to get it into the cart. I felt and heard a large pop in my biceps, and at that point knew I'd ruptured it. I'd been through this before, when I'd fallen in November 2023 and hurt my left shoulder, which required a biceps tenodesis and rotator cuff repairs for both tears of the biceps tendon and several in the rotator cuff. I got home, and when Brenda arrived for the game, I asked her to take me to the ER again. We were there for quite some day. They did x-rays but no MRI. They said if I'd torn my biceps tendon there would be a bruise. This was all on my dominant right hand. My hand was numb, and white. They thought that might be a reaction to the trauma, but my arm wasn't broken (I didn't expect it to be). Then they sent me home and told me to take ibuprofen. Again, I had an excuse for two days, but went to work anyway.The next day I had a very nasty bruise right over my biceps. Ding, ding, ding!I made an appointment with my orthopaedist who did the rotator cuff/tenodesis last year. He said I most likely tore the long head of my biceps tendon up near the shoulder itself this time, and that it was probably on its way already, and it had been hurting when I reached for them in the checkout bay. He said that it was attached in two places, so they'd normally clip the long head anyway and see how it healed, so it sort of did what it would do, but that in 40-5% of people, they also injure the rotator cuff, so he'd suggest waiting a month to see how it would do. At first it did seem to be getting better, than it went downhill from there. By the time I went back at the beginning of April, it was clear that I was most likely in that 40-50%. So he ordered an MRI. The MRI showed a completely torn biceps tendon at the long head, with degenerative issues in the rotator cuff and at least three tears in the tendons of the rotator cuff. So. Yeah. He knows his stuff.But I saw him the other day. He thought even with all that physical therapy would be better than surgery and strengthening would help more, but I have already been through shoulder PT and have pullies, bands, and weights, so he recommended a home exercise programme. So I'm going to focus on that. He also told me to cut back on the ibuprofen. I have been taking the absolute max, and I know it. It's just been hurting so much, all of it--shoulder, knees, etc., that it's been hard to function otherwise. So I'm down to the standard 400 mg. about three times a day. I was taking twice that, for awhile. And that's not good for my kidneys, especially as a diabetic. So I did take his advice, because, well, I do know better, and he went to med school for four years plus all those residency and fellowship years. :)Anyway, I've been trying to focus on my health for the last five months. I've also had a lot of dizziness. It started last autumn, well, really before that, I've gone through physical therapy before, but it hasn't resolved it, and it's coming in spells lasting from an hour to a couple of weeks. I'm thinking it may be a problem with my inner ear. I always seem to have what my PCP likes to call 'Eustachian tube dysfunction', because they're stuffy a lot. So I have an audiogram and visit with an otolaryngologist (ENT) scheduled on May 30th. Oddly enough, just after I made the appointment, the last spell stopped. Of course. But that's good, right? Hopefully, he'll be able to give me some answers.This is going to be a long post. I'm already tired. Maybe it's best to break them up.More to come...
:(
I have been thinking about one of my beloved professors, my undergraduate professor and my graduate advisor in the mediaeval history programme at UK, Dr. E. Randolph Daniel, all this past month. I knew him all told for about fifteen years. Of course that was many years ago, and I knew he was quite elderly and today I put in his name and 'obituary', and sure enough, his memorial service was earlier this month. He'd died on February 23rd. I am so sorry I missed his service. He really stood up for me in the department when I was having problems due to undiagnosed health issues, as well as a nasty marriage and the resulting divorce. Many years ago I sent him a card thanking him, but I hadn't spoken with him since shortly before he retired in 2000. But he taught me so much and he put up with a lot from me, and I so appreciated it. Requiescat in pace, Dr. Daniel. Here is a link to his obituary.