THE B-MOVIE CATECHISM 
DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 15, 2026
Strange Days (1995) It's 1999 and the most popular illegal "drug" on the streets is human memories and sensations which can now be recorded and experienced by others through a headset known as a SQUID (Superconducting QUantum Interference Device). On the eve of the new millennium, Lenny Nero, a former cop turned dealer of black market memories, accidentally comes into possession of a SQUID disc containing the violent recollections of an assault and murder. Deciding to look into the origins of the disc, Lenny is drawn into a dangerous conspiracy of cover-ups and double-crosses where the countdown to the new year may also be the countdown to his own death. Alas, Kathryn Bigelow's first foray into sci-fi bombed when it came out, which is a shame, because it's ideas were a little ahead of their time and the loaded cast is good all around.St. Thomas Aquinas talks about knowing another person's thoughts in the Summa Theologica, explaining there are two ways this can be accomplished. They can be reasonably be figured out through their effects such as words, facial changes, varying pulse rate, or other bodily signs. Angels, demons, observant humans, just about anybody can learn to discern another's thoughts in this way, at least to a certain degree. However, as far as being able to 100% know another's thoughts, only God has immediate access to the interior of a rational creature. So, because we humans can't truly know what's in another person’s heart, we are warned to be slow to judge others. Being John Malkovich (1999) Out of work puppeteer Craig Schwarz takes a job as a file clerk on the 7 1/2 floor of an office building where he discovers a small portal that allows him to enter the mind of renowned actor John Malkovich for 15 minutes at a time. Addicted to the experience of inhabiting another person, Craig shares his discovery with his co-worker Maxine and his wife Lotte, both of whom also become obsessed with being John Malkovich. Once Craig's puppeteering skills allow him to start exercising some control over the actor's body, Malkovich himself becomes suspicious and goes to Charlie Sheen for advice, but unsurprisingly finds no help there. Things begin to spiral out of control as Maxine beings to charge others for use of the portal, Craig learns of a cult that plans to achieve immortality by using the portal to jump from person to person for eternity, and Malkovich decides to enter the portal himself to see what's on his mind. And, of course, there's the monkey. It's all as weird as it sounds, but it works brilliantly, especially since John Malkovich is so good at playing John Malkovich. There's an overabundance of themes at work in Being John Malkovich. You've got identity and the unstable self as suggested by the LA Times. There's celebrity as an empty shortcut for unmet needs as suggested by the Village Voice. And obviously there's the issue of free will. But one that has been mentioned by a few sources is the idea of escapism versus self-actualization, the notion of trying to become someone else rather than your true best self. Now, the Church doesn't quite teach self-actualization in the way Maslow's hierarchy of needs defined it, which is the autonomous realization of one’s inner potential as the highest human goal. In Catholic teaching, fulfillment is received as a gift and realized through relationships with God and neighbor, not through self-centered growth. Or, as Augustine put it, the restless heart finds rest in God, not in Malkovich's head. Okay, I added the part about Malkovich's head, but the point stands.
Blue Velvet (1986) After running across a human ear in a field near his home, curiosity leads college student Jeffrey Beaumont to launch his own investigation into the matter. With the help of Sandy, the most innocent of girls next door, Jeffrey traces the ear to lounge singer Dorothy Vallens, whose family is being held hostage by vicious drug lord and Pabst Blue Ribbon fan Frank Booth. Though he knows he should report everything he's discovered to the police, Jeffrey instead finds himself seduced into a sadomasochistic relationship with Dorothy while simultaneously being drawn into his hometown's dark underbelly where Frank dwells. Can Jeffrey crawl his way back to the surface and salvage his burgeoning romance with Sandy, or is it too late to save his life and his very soul? Perhaps too seedy and brutal to recommend to everyone, Blue Velvet is still the film that cemented David Lynch as one of my all-time favorite filmmakers and left me determined to watch anything he made from that point on. Widely acknowledged as one of the greatest opening scenes in '80s cinema, the movie starts with the picturesque Americana of red roses, white picket fences, and blue skies, after which the camera slowly descends deep below the grass into a world teeming with squirming, crawling insects. As the Catechism notes, God made the world good, but original sin fractured its harmony, making visible creation alien and hostile to mankind, with both creation and man now bound hostage to decay. The world is still good because God made it that way, but it is wounded and fallen hostage to evil. And like Jeffrey in Blue Velvet, we must be on guard when we confront that evil, "for when man looks into his own heart he finds that he is drawn towards what is wrong and sunk in many evils which cannot come from his good creator." Fortunately, despite the underlying corruption, there's always hope as God will not let his work go, and the world is constantly being redeemed and healed. Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985) Following the first movie's on-air killing of Dee Wallace as she transformed into a werewolf, Christopher Lee enlists her brother Big McLargeHuge to travel to Transylvania and confront the queen of werewolves, Stirba (Sybil Danning), who also happens to be Lee's sister. So, the movie should be called Howling II: Your Sisters are Werewolves. Of course, some video covers name it Howling II: Stirba – Werewolf Bitch, so best not to complain about what we've got. Anyway, Lee, Big, and a female journalist wander around the Balkans while werewolves from around the world gather at a nearby castle where Stirba holds court and shows off her massive… fangs. Hilariously awful, with slipshod werewolf makeup, completely out of place punk and new wave costumes, and one of the most notorious end credit sequences ever put to celluloid. Joe Dante, director of the original Howling, claims the first thing Christopher Lee did when he arrived on the set of Gremlins II was to apologize for appearing in this film. With movies like The Castle of Fu Manchu and End of the World on his resume, Howling II is probably not the worst film Christopher Lee ever made, but it's nice he was willing to own up to his mistake anyway. Speaking to a general audience in 2022, Pope Francis recommended a daily examination of conscience as “an invitation to learn from our experiences” and “not to continue to repeat the same mistakes… Before finishing the day, stop for a while. What happened? Not in the newspapers, not in life — what happened in my heart?” Not all mistakes are sins, of course. Mistakes made when we erroneously thought we were doi9ng the right thing, or just simple errors of fact or judgement, don't require confession. But even for honest mistakes, the Church still suggests we examine our conscience daily precisely so that we notice patterns in thought and behavior, take responsibility for them, and stop repeating the same faults.
DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 2, 2026
Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971) Fresh from a stay in a mental institution, Jessica is picked up by her husband and their best friend and taken to recover in what is supposed to be an empty house in the country. Instead, they discover it occupied by a comely red-haired drifter who ingratiates herself with the group and is invited to stay. Things begin to get strange when Jessica starts hearing voices, but is reluctant to tell anyone because she thinks they'll recommit her. It doesn't help her mental state when the nearby townies tell the friends about a red-haired woman who drowned in the lake next to their house and supposedly now roams the area as a vampire. Jessica wants to dismiss the story, but there's the nagging fact that nearly everyone in town has a band-aid on their neck. Is Jessica losing her mind again, or is the situation as weird as it seems? Honestly, not a lot happens in the movie, but it's so drenched in atmosphere and moodiness you'll just want the nothing to keep happening for as long as it can. A classic in slow-burn '70s cinema. Given the movie's title, one wonders if the Church thinks it's okay to scare people, not to death obviously, but just in general? Well, there's certainly no encyclical on such an oddball question, but we can piece some thoughts together from various sources. Aquinas warned about play that harms a neighbor, stating, "the pleasure in question should not be sought in indecent or injurious deeds or words." However, as Fr. Francis Spirago noted in The Catechism Explained, "Moderate jesting is not derision if the motive is reasonable and it does not aim at the other person’s confusion." So, it would seem a good scare in the name of mutual amusement or good fun is okay, but not if the goal is to instill true fear, which would be uncharitable and injurious. In short, scare unto others as you would have them scare unto you. Shock Treatment (1981) Having survived the events of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Brad and Janet have married and moved to Denton, a town completely under the control of fast food magnate Farley Flavors and his television network DTV. Duped into participating in the game show Marriage Maze, Brad is declared an emotional cripple and committed to a mental institution, while Janet and her parents are seduced into seeking superstardom on some of Farley's popular reality shows. Luckily, reporter Betty Hapschatt is immune to Flavors' influence and has uncovered his true motives for wanting to separate Brad and Janet. But has she made her discovery too late? While nowhere near catching the lightning in a bottle that was Rocky Horror, Shock Treatment really isn't as bad as it was declared upon release. Yes, it's weird having characters from Rocky Horror played by new actors while having actors from Rocky Horror play new characters, but the satire of pop culture zombies hits its mark and some of the new songs are actually decent, so it balances out. From the way it's portrayed in movies, you'd think shock treatment would be condemned by the Church. Not so. Despite pop culture's continued laughable insistence that Catholicism rejects science, Church-run medical institutions have always followed (within ethical limits) the scientific standards of the time. As noted in the book Psychiatry and Catholicism, methods such as shock treatment are treated as legitimate medical options under the ordinary conditions of proportionality. So, if a person's mental illness is serious enough, there are no better alternatives according to the science, and the benefits outweigh the risks, then shock treatment (electroconvulsive therapy if we want to use the nice word) is allowable. Therefore, since mainstream psychiatry continues to regard modern ECT as safe and highly effective for certain severe cases where medications have proven ineffective, documents like the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services do not prohibit its use.
DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 26, 2026
Hercules and the Captive Women (1961) As seems to be his modus operandi in a lot of these flicks, Hercules is drugged and kidnapped, this time by his good pal Androcles, who needs Herc's help to save Thebes from bad weather. Put on a slave ship with his son Hylas and his sidekick Timoteo the dwarf, Hercules handles the situation the way he usually does, laying around doing nothing. Events soon force the dazed demigod into action, however. First, he must save a captive woman from the shape-shifting Proteus (a guy in a lizard costume). Then he must travel to Atlantis to save a bunch of captive women and men from a cult who worships the power of Uranus. I'm not above chuckling at that sentence, which is good, because a lack of seriousness is the best way to approach these silly old sword and sandal movies. This one, featuring Reg park's first outing as the musclebound one, is sillier than most. When Christianity first kicked off, the Romans often persecuted believers for refusing to honor the Roman gods. However, after the Edict of Milan, Christianity became the realm's legal religion and the tables turned somewhat. Public sacrifices to the Roman pantheon were banned, temples were closed or converted to Christian use, and their festivals were suppressed. Now, Uranus (or Caelus as the Roman's called him) wasn't missed too much as he had no real cult of his own. Still, he did come under ridicule due to the well-known myth of his castration by his son Cronus (Saturn). Apologists like Lactantius used this story as proof that the Roman myths (and therefore the Greek ones before them) were based on tales of ancient humans, not divine beings. After all, if these figures had truly been gods, then such acts as castration would be an impossibility. And if the stories had human origins, then the cults that grew up around the false gods were grounded in error and deception. Perfect Victims (1988) After contracting AIDS from a prostitute, a mentally disturbed man goes completely over the edge and blames all women for his inevitable demise. To ensure he takes as many hated hussies with him before he goes, the psycho puts on a very Michael Myers-like mask and begins to stalk and assault women so he can infect them with HIV. When it becomes apparent he has set his sights on two models who have just moved to the big city, their agent and the police desperately try to protect them. This is the kind of weird variation on the genre that '80s slasher completists run across now and then, but unfortunately this one is too mean spirited, and the killer just a bit too misogynistic, to fully enjoy. Who knows, maybe that's the point of the movie given the subject matter, but slasher fans watch these things for some gross grand guignol fun, not to actually feel gross. Back in the early '80s when AIDS was still considered just a disease for gay people and junkies, and nobody wanted to get too near anyone with it, Catholic institutions became major providers of care for the inflicted through hospices, clinics, home care, orphanages, and pastoral ministries. This may be shocking to some considering the Church's stance on homosexual actions and drug use, but the Church sees no conflict between compassionate care and doctrinal consistency. In fact, around the time Perfect Victims came out, the U.S. bishops issued two documents entitled The Many Faces of AIDS (1987) and Called to Compassion and Responsibility (1989) which insisted on loving care for the ill, the release of accurate information about the disease, and the rejection of discrimination, but also reiterated the Church's clear moral teaching on sexuality. You know, the same kind of thing Jesus used to do.
DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 21, 2026
Volunteers (1985) To escape serious bodily harm over unpaid gambling debts, snooty trust fund layabout Lawrence Bourne III hitches a ride on a Peace Corps plane to hide out in Thailand, only to discover his parents have arranged for him to be an involuntary volunteer in the organization's bridge building project. Having learned nothing, Lawrence spends his time teaching the locals how to play poker, unsuccessfully wooing fellow American Beth, and making deals with the region's drug lord. However, as Lawrence begins to develop real human feelings for Beth and various nefarious forces reveal plans of their own for the proposed bridge, Lawrence must decide what kind of person he really wants to be. Volunteers is one of those movies you know you've seen, but can't recall anything about it. Once you rewatch it, you remember why you forgot. Even though it has Tom Hanks. John Candy, the Donger, and the director of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and there's nothing blatantly awful about it, Volunteers just has little of the memorable quirkiness that defines so many of its 1980s contemporaries. It just is. Unsurprisingly, the Church is big on volunteerism. In fact, in March 2025, she held The Jubilee of the World of Volunteering to celebrate those who take time out to participate in humanitarian works. In his homily, Pope Francis told volunteers their generosity and small, free gestures of service offer hope to society, especially in the “deserts of poverty and loneliness.” He went on to say In societies “too enslaved to market logic” where everything risks being measured by interest and profit, volunteering is a “prophecy and a sign of hope” that witnesses to the primacy of gratuitousness, solidarity, and service to those most in need. In short, volunteering is a concrete, visible living out of the Gospel message. And if you're looking for something more Church related than the Peace Corps, the Catholic Volunteer Network (CVN) is a membership organization of roughly 200 domestic and international Catholic (and some broader Christian) full-time volunteer and mission programs who would be more than happy to put you to work. The Octagon (1980) Renowned karate champion Scott James accompanies a date home only to be attacked by ninjas. As Scott is played by Chuck Norris, he beats the living crap out of anyone dressed in all-black, but his date and her entire family are all murdered. Both an earring-wearing Lee Van Cleef and a millionairess whose hobby is assassinating terrorists attempt to enroll Scott in their efforts to track down the ninjas, but Scott wants nothing to do with it as he highly suspects the ninjas are being led by his estranged step-brother Seikura. The two had a heated rivalry as young ninja padawans, but after Seikura dishonored the family, he was exiled and Scott was ordered by his step-father to avoid Seikura for the rest of his life. That may no longer be possible, though, as events will soon force Scott to confront his step-brother at his secret ninja-training facility, The Octagon. This is early Chuck Norris and it shows, but if you ever dreamed of listening to Chuck gruffly whisper his internal monologue for an entire movie, this is the one for you. It's commendable that Chuck didn't want to fight his step-brother, even though Seikura was the world's biggest d-bag even as a child. However, sometimes that kind of thing can't be avoided, especially if you're a Christian. As Jesus said in Matthew 10, "Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s foes will be those of his own household." Now, that sounds bad on the surface, but obviously Jesus isn't promoting family hatred and violence. That would be a bit off-brand. What He was getting at was the inevitable cost of true discipleship. When a person truly follows God, putting His Kingdom first, the occasional conflict with non-believers is unavoidable, even if they're family. So, Jesus wasn't encouraging strife, he was just being honest about the potential cost of following his teachings.
DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 19, 2026
Black Sunday (1960) Sentenced to death for being a witch/vampire/all around nasty person, Princess Asa Vajda of Moldavia has a mask full of spikes hammered into her face. A couple of hundred years later, some doctors visiting the country accidentally release Asa from her tomb. They also meet Asa's doppelganger descendant Katia, who invite the two men to stay at her family's castle. One of the doctors becomes smitten with Katia, but Asa has her own designs for the young woman. If she can just get past all the dang crucifixes around the castle, Asa plans to steal Katia's youth to restore her own vitality. The movie is historically significant for horror fans as it's both the first directorial effort from Mario Bava and the film that made an international star out of Barbara Steele. Even without that stuff, though, Black Sunday is just a classic gothic romp. Back in the day in Germany, the fifth Sunday of Lent, these days usually referred to as Passion Sunday or Judica Sunday, was then called Schwarzer Sonntag, or Black Sunday. This name came from the medieval custom of placing black veils on all the crucifixes, statues, and images in churches at the start of Passiontide. The veils are a liturgical sign of mourning, hiddenness, and longing, representative of Christ withdrawing and hiding his glory as the Passion approaches. Only when He rises on easter do the veils come off. While not as widespread as it used to be, you can still find various parishes continuing the custom to this day. Cujo (1983) Both Donna Trenton's marriage and automobile are on the rocks. With her husband leaving town for a business trip, she can't do anything about the marriage at the moment, but the car she can take to their usual mechanic Joe, who lives and works on the outskirts of town. The problem is Joe's St. Bernard, Cujo, who has always been a sweetheart in the past, has recently contracted rabies and chewed Joe into pieces. Naturally, Donna's Ford Pinto finally gives up the ghost as she's pulling into Joe's driveway, so she and her young son Tad are soon at the mercy of Cujo, who makes his presence known quite adamantly. If the pair stay in the car, they'll suffocate in the rapidly rising heat. If they try to make it inside, slobbering death waits right outside the car door. What to do? Some of the early scenes without the dog are a bit of a slog, but once it becomes Jaws with a collar, the movie becomes one of the more enjoyable Stephen King horror adaptations. A lot of the Saints were fond of dogs. St. Augustine, of course, considered them from a catechetical p[perspective, noting, "For even some dogs have been reproved by the Prophet Isaiah, not because they were dogs, but because they knew not how to bark, and loved to sleep. In which place indeed he hath shown, that if they had watched and barked for their Lord, they would have been praiseworthy dogs: just as they are praised, of whom is said, ‘The tongue of Thy dogs." St. Basil the Great's assessment was a little more personal, saying, "Does not the gratitude of the dog shame all who are ungrateful to their benefactors? Many are said to have fallen dead by their murdered masters in lonely places. Others, when a crime has just been committed, have led those who were searching for the murderers." The Desert Father Abba Xanthios was perhaps the most direct, quipping, “A dog is better than I am, for he has love and he does not judge.”
DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 14, 2026
Eyes of Laura Mars (1978) The title character isn't just a fashion photographer, she's an artist. You can tell because she stages all of her fashion shoots to look like the scenes of violent crimes and accidents. It's art! Still, even though it brings her financial success, Laura's eerie aesthetic does have some drawbacks. Not only does she receive a fair amount of criticism for glamorizing violence, but when Laura begins to have visions of murders that turn out to be real, the police initially shrug her off as just some attention seeking weirdo. However, the more evident it becomes that Laura is actually experiencing the slayings through the eyes of the killer, the authorities become convinced they can use her to catch the guilty party. That's the good news. The bad news is that the culprit may be one of the men in Laura's life, and they can all get to her before the police can. Screenwriter John Carpenter, who wrote the initial draft of this before Halloween, turns in a fairly decent American version of a giallo (though he publicly decries the rewrites the studio did without his input) and the cast of Academy Award winners is far above what you usually get in these kind of flicks. I doubt this movie's premise is what Henry David Thoreau meant when he wrote, “Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” It is a sentiment that Pope Francis agreed with, though. In a 2016 General Audience, the Pontiff noted, "In the Bible we see that God himself must employ mercy in order to bear the lamentings of his people. For example, in the Book of Exodus the people become truly unbearable… But God had patience and thus he taught Moses and also the people this essential dimension of faith. Therefore a first question arises spontaneously: do we ever conduct an examination of conscience in order to see if we too, at times, might be annoying to others? It’s easy to point a finger against the faults and shortcomings of others, but we must learn to put ourselves in their shoes." Or, see the world through their eyes, as the poet put it. Monster a Go-Go! (1960) The space capsule carrying astronaut Frank Douglas crashes to Earth and soon an eight-foot tall radioactive monster is terrorizing the countryside. At least that's what the narrator tells us. In fact, the narrator has to tell us a lot of things because the movie sure as heck doesn't show them. It can't, because a lot of the movie is leftover footage from a previous uncompleted film. For instance, we're assured by the narrator that the teenage girl on screen is watching Frank kill her boyfriend, but we have to take his word for it. And apparently Frank is in the back of a truck slowly killing the driver by radiation poisoning, but we just have to take the narrator's word for it. The whole movie is like this, so if you enjoy being told and not shown, this is the flick for you. And yes, this is the infamous movie in which a phone rings, but since the filmmakers seemingly couldn't afford foley, the sound we here is just someone making "ring-ring" sounds with their lips. One of the nice things about Christianity is that it's structurally a show, don't just tell religion. God doesn't merely sit on high proclaiming rules and demanding we love one another. Instead, He incarnated in flesh and lived amongst us, showing how love works in real life. Sure, Jesus preached, but He also healed the sick, talked with the sinners, drove out demons, and lived a life of service to others. And, when it was time for His death, he left behind a Church with visible, tangible sacraments to continue the work. That's why the New Testament spends so much time harping on the fruits of one's labors, because we'll ultimately be judged on a lot more than just what we confessed with our lips. Christianity isn't just a set of ideas that one assents to. It is a life that one is invited to inhabit.
DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 8, 2026
Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985) Bow-tied man-child Pee-wee Herman is having an absolutely perfect day, that is until someone steals his highly customized Schwinn DX Cruiser, the one thing he treasures above all else in the world. Conned by a phony psychic into believing it has been taken to the Alamo, Pee-wee packs up his collection of novelty gags and sets off on a cross-country trek to retrieve his beloved bicycle. Along the way, he encounters a host of bizarre characters including an escaped convict, a surprisingly dance-enthusiast biker gang, and the unforgettable Large Marge. By ever-so-slightly toning down his stage character of Pee-wee and placing himself in the insanely capable hands of first-time big-screen director Tim Burton, Paul Reubens delivers one of the best comedies of the '80s, the one decade fully prepared to embrace his weirdness. It only takes a few minutes into the film to realize Pee-wee has a bit of a First Commandment problem as he's obviously turned his bike into an idol. As the Church notes, possessions are not evil in themselves. In fact, they can often be considered be gifts from God which can be used for one’s needs, the good of others, or the glory of God. Possessions only become a problem when attachment to them turns into domination: when they control the heart, displace trust in God, hinder charity, or, as in the case of PW and his bicycle, become the measure of happiness and security. It's best to follow the Church's advice when it comes to possessions; hold them lightly as a steward and love God first of all. Haunted Honeymoon (1986) Soon to be wed Larry and Vickie take a break from their hit 1930s radio show to travel to Larry's ancestral estate where they hope to both get married and discover what's been giving Larry the on-air jitters. Much to the couple's dismay, however, not only do their wedding guests begin to arrive, but so do a hitman hired to dispatch Larry, as well as what appears to be a werewolf. Old dark house shenanigans ensue as bodies are found, bodies are lost, and family secrets are revealed. Led by real life newlyweds Gene Wilder and Gilda Radner, and featuring Dom DeLuise in drag as Larry's overwrought aunt, the cast is perfectly likable, and they breeze through the lighthearted goings-on like the pros they are. Given that, it would be nice to say the film's a laugh riot, but sadly, it settles for being mildly enjoyable. Blessed Karl of Austria was the last Emperor of Austria and Apostolic King of Hungary, and is widely remembered for supporting Pope Benedict XV’s peace initiatives during WWI and for the reforms he tried to initiate to help the poor, veterans, widows, and orphans in his homeland. In Catholic circles, though, he's celebrated not only as a model of Christian leadership, but also as a model of how to be a new husband. Right before marriage to Princess Zita of Bourbon-Parma, Karl had their wedding rings engraved with the antiphon Sub tuum praesidium (“We fly to thy protection, O Holy Mother of God”). More famously, he told his betrothed, “Now, we must help each other to get to Heaven.” These words remain one of the most frequently cited lines for Catholic newlyweds, spoken as a reminder that the primary goal of marriage from the first day is mutual sanctification.
DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 3, 2026
Jason X (2001) Unable to execute immortal serial killer Jason Voorhies, a government agent traps him, and inadvertently herself, in a cryogenic chamber, where they are eventually found by scavengers in the year 2455, who've come to the decimated planet Earth looking for historical artifacts. Once the debt-ridden leader of the expedition realizes whose body they've happened upon, he decides to bring the supposed corpse aboard his spaceship and sell him to a collector. It's Jason, though, so as soon as some members of the crew begin to indulge in a little hanky-panky, the hockey-masked horror quickly thaws out and the carnage begins. However, things have changed while Jason has been on ice, and if he wants to continue his signature slaughter, he might need a few upgrades. Well, it's certainly not art. Still, the change-up in location and the movie's tongue-in-cheek attitude provide for some entertaining moments for those who've stuck with the franchise this long. And, yes, Uber-Jason is admittedly a pretty cool design. One of the little details that's easy to overlook in Jason X is the fact that apparently, in the future, there is a market for the preserved bodies of the dead. Weird, but that kind of thing sort of exists these days doesn't it, what with museums and educational shows like Bodies: The Exhibition and Body Works? While the Church has no magisterial documents that specifically address mummies or commercial exhibitions of plastinated bodies, it does demand the bodies of the dead be treated with respect and charity. In this light, Fr. Tadeusz Pacholczyk of the National Catholic Bioethics Center believes that museums might pass muster, but that plastinated-body exhibits “straddle the line between enlightening and edgy.” The test of appropriateness for these types of exhibits seems to be whether the deceased gave consent for their bodies to be used for educational purposes and if the displays are respectful rather than exploitative. Atomic War Bride (1960) With such a title, one might expect (me, I'm the one who expected) a movie about a gal who's exposed to nuclear radiation and grows into a literal Bridezilla. Alas, this is about war breaking out during a young Polish couple's wedding and what happens after the groom is immediately conscripted into the military (talk about for better or worse). So, instead of giant monsters, you get a lot of attempts at anti-war satire of the type that wouldn't be perfected for a few more years with Dr. Strangelove. That's because this movie is too afraid to fully commit to jokes about nuclear war in the way Kubrick did, too often falling back into drama, including a sharp tonal shift into an utterly bleak ending. I don't know, maybe something just gets lost in the English dubbing. While the exact phrasing "for better, for worse" comes from the Church of England's 1549 Book of Common Prayer, its origins stems from the 11th century Sarum Rite, an Anglo-Saxon variation of the Roman Rite. These days, most everybody uses it. The Church recognizes it as a concrete expression of its doctrine of the indissolubility of a valid, sacramental marriage. The vow is a promise to remain faithful not only when life is pleasant, but especially when it is not, relying on the grace imparted by the sacrament to make such fidelity possible. Like St. John Chrysostom said in his homily to husbands (and by extension wives), "Endure it all for Christ’s sake, as He endured all for us. … Even if it becomes necessary for you to give your life for her, yes, and even to endure and undergo suffering of any kind, do not refuse.”
DAILY CALL SHEET: JULY 25, 2026
The Vineyard (1989) People will pay thousands for a bottle of Dr. Elson Po's wine, unaware it's made from the blood of those he keeps captive in his underground lab. The wine, along with a bit of Chinese black magic, helps keep Po unnaturally young. However, the conniving quack needs the perfect sacrifice to make his stolen youth permanent. To that end, he invites a number of Hollywood hopefuls to his private island under the pretense of making a movie. To Po's consternation, though, the corpses of his prior victims don't want to stay buried beneath his grapes serving as fertilizer, and keep popping up to make trouble. And speaking of corpses, just who is that rotting old hag hanging out in one of his mansion's bedrooms? Indispensable character actor James Hong plays a barely disguised variation of his Big Trouble in Little China character Lo Pan, but more importantly, uses this film as his first foray as writer/director. It's certainly no masterpiece, but you get what you expect from a movie made for Roger Corman during his New World Pictures period.This movie's title sort of obligates us to consider Jesus' Parable of the Workers/Laborers in the Vineyard. That's the one in which a vineyard owner hires a number of laborers at various times of the day, but pays them all the same wage when the sun goes down, much to the consternation of those who started work early. St. Augustine summed up the lesson pretty well, saying, "We may apply the parable to this life of ours. For they are, as it were, called at the first hour, who, when fresh from their mother’s womb, begin to be Christians; those, as it were, at the third hour, who begin as boys; those, as it were, at the sixth, who begin as young men; those, as it were, at the ninth, who begin when verging towards old age; those, as it were, at the eleventh, who begin when actually in the decay of life; but all, with the prospect of receiving the one denarius of life eternal. ... For to all an equal pay is promised; but as to the actual hour of working there is great uncertainty. ... Why then do you put off Him who calls you, when you are certain of the pay, uncertain of a day?”Frankenstein 1970 (1958) At the start of the '70s, which look an awful lot like the '50s, an aging Baron Victor von Frankenstein is in need of some dough to continue the experiments in immortality begun by his grandfather Richard Freiherr von Frankenstein. Yeah, there's not much Mary Shelley here, just go with it. Anyway, he leases out his castle to a film crew making a movie about Frankenstein's famous ancestor. Apparently, it's not a low budget production, as the money he receives allows Frankenstein to purchase an atomic reactor, which he uses to start construction on an indestructible version of his own body. Fortunately for Frankenstein, there happens to be a lot of virile Hollywood types running around who might make for good spare parts. This really should be a lot more fun than it is with that kind of setup, but the film kind of stumbles around aimlessly like the bandaged monster Frankenstein cobbles together. Still it gets an extra star just for Karloff, who hams it up as the monster maker this time around, and for being shot in CinemaScope, which is more than this kind of movie deserves.Movies like Frankenstein 1970 show that some transhumanist ideas have been around for a long time, in particular the notion that the soul can be transferred out of the body and into something else. The Church has long scoffed at this concept as it contradicts the revealed truth that the human person is a profound unity of body and soul (hylomorphism, if you need the big Catholic word). Created by God, the soul is not something humans can manipulate, replicate, or relocate like a piece of furniture. Because of this, whatever would get transferred into a new body wouldn't be a soul, so it wouldn't result in immortality, just death for the real person. That's why the Vatican’s International Theological Commission wrote that “in the utopian scope of its quest for immanent immortality, transhumanism can be interpreted as the existential expression of a presumption that is both naive and arrogant.”
DAILY CALL SHEET: JULY 19, 2026
Jaws: The Revenge (1987) With her husband Martin dead from a heart attack and her youngest son Sean recently killed by a great white shark, Ellen Brody throws in the towel and moves from Amity Island to the Bahamas where her oldest son Michael works as a marine biologist. However, the shark, ticked off at the number of its kin that the Brody family has dispatched over the years, follows the family to the Commonwealth with the intent of finishing the rest of them off (okay, I guess). Using Ellen's newly discovered psychic link with the beast (look, I didn't write the movie, okay), she and Michael, along with their new pals Jake and Hoagie, track down the vindictive fishy. Or is it tracking them? Yes, this is the film which Michael Caine now claims he made just because he wanted to buy a new house. Chances are you've already heard how bad this movie is and you'll find nothing to contradict that assessment here. Like all chondrichthyans, sharks have brains adapted primarily for sensory processing, instinctual behaviors, and survival. Scientists say a shark's lack of an advanced neocortex means their minds can't support higher-order emotions, self-awareness, planning, or sustained cognitive processing. That pretty much rules out a shark experiencing anything like remembering a specific person who did them wrong or planning retaliation for the wrongdoing like the shark does in Jaws: The Revenge. Any antagonistic behaviors they display are likely just the simple fight-or-flight responses common to all animals. You know, it's always nice when science catches up to the Church, which has taught animals lack the rational soul to experience anything beyond basic emotions/appetites since at least Aquinas expounded on Aristotle in the 13th Century. Shadow of the Hawk (1976) Mike is pretty content to live in the big city far from the reservation he grew up on. However, when journalist Maureen shows up with Mike's grandfather Old Man Hawk in tow, Mike is guilted into driving the man 300 miles back to his home. Along the way, Mike learns his ancestor has sought him out to train him as the tribe's next medicine man, a responsibility Mike wants nothing to do with. Nevertheless, he may have no choice but to do some on-the-job training since the spirit of the evil sorceress Dsonoqua wants Old Man Hawk and his bloodline wiped out of existence. Can our heroes survive the supernatural dangers Dsonoqua unleashes long enough for Mike to answer his calling? Though it opened in theaters, and some elements like Dsonoqua's masked visage are surprisingly effective, the production has more of a made-for-television feel than that of a cinematic release. Still, it earns an extra star for the presence of Chief Dan George, who oozes Native American authenticity even when the goings get silly, such as when Jan-Michael Vincent wrestles a guy in a bear suit while his stunt man gets mauled by the real thing. As it often goes in these types of movies, Mike is reluctant to follow his true calling. That happens in the Christianity as well. According to the Vhurch, a calling ( or vocation) is God's personal invitation to each person to live a life of holiness, love, and service in a specific way that leads to fulfillment and eternal happiness. However, there's often resistance to that calling due to such things as anxiety over commitment, feelings of unworthiness, concerns over losing personal freedom, and just plain old fear of radical change. This kind of thing is normal, to the point that the Bible is full of people who were reluctant to follow their vocation at first. Moses, Jeremiah, Jonah, and more all had their qualms when God came calling. Even Mary had a question or two before speaking her famous line, "Let it be to me according to your word.” Reluctance doesn't disqualify a calling. As with Jacob, honest wrestling with God can lead to a more rewarding vocation.
DAILY CALL SHEET: JULY 14, 2026
Splatter University (1984) Three years after a lunatic escapes from a nearby asylum (didn't anybody put locks on these places in '80s movies), someone murders the sociology teacher at St. Trinian's College. Her replacement, Julie Parker, immediately becomes suspicious of everyone she meets, and for good reason. The creepy wheelchair-bound priest who serves as the school's headmaster is nosy and overbearing, her new boyfriend may have secret ties to the murdered woman, and the matron of her boarding house has Norma Bates written all over her. Then there's the fact that her classroom is full of slovenly degenerates, and that's just the girls. Seriously, every kid in this movie acts like they were written by a hormone-crazed 13-year-old who has never met a college student, but has definite fantasies of what they must be like. Once the classless coeds start getting picked off, it's hard not to root for the killer. Still, even though it's a middling low-tier slasher at best, it's got that locally-flavored regional horror vibe that will appeal to some. One of the problems right off the bat with Splatter university is that there is no St. Trinian for the school in the movie to be named after, not even on the list of the hundreds of Saints who lost their feast days in 1969. That was the year the Church decided to clean things up a little bit by removing from the General Roman Calendar any Saint whose historical existence, details, or legends were questionable based on modern hagiographical and historical scholarship. This didn't mean those Saints were taken out of the Roman Martyrology (the Church's official list of recognized saints and martyrs), just that their feasts were made optional for the whole Church, leaving them to private veneration and local celebrations. St. Christopher is probably the best example, as his feast is not on the calendar, but most every Catholic still carries a medal with his image on it. Now, it's possible the movie's writers used the name St. Trinian's as an homage to the British comic strip popular in the '50s, but that's suggesting they put some thought into the film. Cool World (1992) Cartoonist Jack Deebs creates a comic called Cool World based on visions he believes to be imaginary, at least until he is sucked into the quite real cartoon dimension where the indecently drawn Holli Would awaits. Holli has discovered that if she can have sex with a human, she can transform into a real girl and escape into our world. For whatever reason, that's the rule. Anyway, detective Frank Harris, another human trapped in Cool World, does his best to prevent this, as such an unlikely coupling would result in the two dimensions merging and animated mayhem usurping the natural order on Earth. One shudders to think what legendary underground animator Ralph Bashki would have done with Cool World if given free reign, but extensive studio interference resulted in this oddly neutered, yet still slightly sleazy take on Roger Rabbit. Waifu pillow guys might love it, but most others will probably find it too cringey. As for Gabriel Byrne, Brad Pitt, and Kim Basinger, they would probably like this erased from their resumes. Although the Church has never directly produced an animated movie, in 1984, the Vatican did get Radiotelevisione Italiana (RAI) to relay a request to famed animator Osamu Tezuka (creator of Astro Boy and Kimba the White Lion among others) to see if he would be interested in producing an anime adaptation of the Bible. Hesitant at first because he wasn't a Christian, Tezuka finally agreed after reassurances from the Holy See. Sadly, Tezuka passed away in 1989 before work could be completed, and only 26 episodes covering the Old Testament were released. As Tezuka's death resulted in many episodes being completed by other directors, In the Beginning: Stories from the Bible isn't considered on par with his acknowledged masterpieces, but it's still fondly remembered for its overall artistic value and sincere attempt to bridge cultural differences. One such difference is that some versions of the show contain nudity (Adam & Eve and such), not a huge deal in Japan. Cool World fans shouldn't get too excited, though, as such instances are brief, non-gratuitous, and never eroticized.
DAILY CALL SHEET: JULY 7, 2026
Species (1995) Scientists receive an extraterrestrial message detailing how to create an alien/human hybrid, so you better believe they do so immediately, producing a baby they name Sil. However, when Sil develops to 12-years-old in just a few months, the big brains decide that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all and futilely attempt to euthanize her. Escaping, Sil quickly ages to adulthood and sets out on her genetically programmed mission, to mate so she can produce offspring designed to wipe out the human race. Oddly, despite the fact that she looks like a Cosmopolitan cover model (which is exactly what the actress playing Sil was in real life), Sil has a difficult time finding someone to hook up with. It's only a matter of time, though, so the government sends in a crack team of scientists and mercenaries to deal with the problem. But can they? Don't let the fact that this was made by MGM, has art design by H. R. Giger, and stars not one, but two Academy Award winners fool you. This is pure exploitation, basically Alien's trashy cousin, so expectations should be set accordingly. Obviously, the Church has no official teachings on sexual relations with aliens, but that hasn't stopped some Catholics like Jimmy Akin and Paul Thigpen from speculating about it. It goes without saying that such a pairing would have to occur within a valid marriage. Beyond that, they seem to agree that, at a minimum, the alien would have to have a rational soul in the image of God and have biological compatibility with humans to allow for procreation. That's because a sacramental marriage requires the consent of free will and an openness to life. Just because one of the spouses was an alien, you don't get to discard those requirements. Then there's the question of baptism and redemption through Christ. Authors like C. S. Lewis raised the possibility of aliens who are not fallen like mankind. Would that be a hindrance? Again, the Church has no definitive statement on such things, but she doesn't discourage noodling over them as a way to explore faith and reason. The Descent (2005) One year after the death of her husband and daughter, Sarah goes on a spelunking trip with five of her friends hoping to find some peace of mind. That's not to be, however, as the group's most gung-ho member, Juno, purposely leads the ladies into unexplored tunnels where they become trapped by a cave-in. To make matters worse, the women soon discover they are not alone. In between them and their only possibility of escape is a hereto undiscovered tribe of cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers (Hmm, why does that sound familiar?). To top it off, one of the group reveals to Sarah some upsetting truths about her late husband. Can Sarah and the rest overcome the psychological and physical dangers of the situation to make it to the surface, or are they all destined to be dinner? With some excellent performances, its undeniably creepy Crawlers, and some of the most claustrophobic scenes put to celluloid, The Descent ranks as one the first horror classics of the 21st century. Before he founded the Benedictine order, St. Benedict of Nursia spent three years living as a hermit in a cave near Subiaco, Italy. Disgusted by the moral decay and licentiousness he saw in the city, Benedict decided to follow the example of the Desert Fathers and seek a life of austerity and isolation. He did receive some aid from a nearby monk named Romanus who provided clothing and food, which he would lower into Benedict's cave by rope. Otherwise, the future Saint spent most of his time in prayer and contemplation. There's no records of Benedict having to battle subterranean cannibals, but one source does mention him battling the temptation of lust by rolling around in thorns, so there's that. Naturally, the Church doesn't call everyone to spend time alone in caves, but she does suggest occasional periods of fuga mundi (flight from the world), which is the deliberate withdrawal from worldly distractions, attachments, and the corruptive influences of society in order to pursue a deeper life with God.
DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 30, 2026
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) When the world's greatest and most secretive confectioner announces a contest in which five children will be allowed to tour his fortress of a factory and secure a lifetime supply of chocolate, the entire world succumbs to Wonka-mania trying to locate one of the elusive golden tickets. The eventual winners include the gum-chomping Violet Beauregarde, the television-obsessed Mike Teevee, the ever-omnivorous Augustus Gloop, the proto-girl boss Veruca Salt, and the impoverished paper boy Charlie Bucket. As the children and their chaperones proceed through the wonderland of Wonka's factory, their individual vices lead to avoidable disasters, which are subsequently eulogized by singing orange-skinned little people known as Oompa-Loompas. Will any children be left to claim the ultimate prize? With an outstanding eccentric performance from Gene Wilder as Wonka, some immediately hummable tunes, and an underlying somewhat-mean spirit to the proceedings, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is a classic kid's morality tale in which the unvirtuous are punished and the meek inherit everything they ever wanted. When Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth," He wasn't referring to weak, spineless passivity. In the original Greek, the word translated in the verse as "meek" is the word "praus", which roughly means strength under control. Given that, biblical meekness is not being a doormat, it is doing good in response to evil. Meekness in the spiritual sense means showing humility and gentleness toward others, enduring trials patiently without resentment or revenge, accepting God's will without and over-abundance of muttering. In this way, meekness is a direct challenge to the worldly preference for immediate retaliation, over-assertive behavior, and crass self-promotion. Sounds nice, but meekness isn't easy. As Pope Francis noted, "Anyone can appear meek when everything is peaceful, but how does one react under pressure, if one is under attack, offended, threatened?" Meekness isn't just an idea, it's an active choice. The Land Unknown (1957) Stop me if you've heard this one before. An expedition heads to Antarctica to investigate some unusually warm waters. Now, any kid who has ever gone swimming in a public pool can tell that water which suddenly gets warm is a thing to be avoided, but these guys—and obligatory gal—head towards it anyway. A mistake, as a pterosaur instantly knocks their helicopter into a vast volcanic crater where dinosaurs and man-eating plants run rampant. Yep, it's The Lost World, but with enough story elements changed so Sir Arthur Conan Doyle doesn't get a dime. Of course, since pre-production budget cuts really put a hurt on the film's special effects, Doyle probably would have avoided drawing attention to The Land Unknown as he wouldn't want his name associated with it in any way. However, for fans of this particular kind of '50s schlock, the hand puppets, magnified monitor lizards, and poverty row T-Rex costume are probably a net positive. Methodist founder John Wesley was fond of variations of the term "the land unknown", using it in hymns and poems to metaphorically refer to heaven. In his eulogy, On the Death of Mr. John Matthews, Dec. 28, 1764, Wesley wrote, "Blessing, and thanks, and power, and praise, Jesus is worthy to receive, who keeps his saints throughout their days, and doth the final victory give! He hath his faithful mercies shown, to him, whose loss we now deplore, safe entered on that land unknown, to weep, and fret, and die no more." Interestingly, though he was born into Protestantism, Wesley was accused of being a secret agent of the Jesuits. The evidence against Wesley was his belief in apostolic succession, the necessity of good works and fasting, his rejection of predestination, his affirmation of the intercession of Saints, and apparently, a belief in the Real Presence in the Eucharist. If he could have just gotten over his Anglican-infused hatred of "popery", he might of made a fine Catholic.
DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 23, 2026
Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955) While stranded in Cairo, an out of work Bud and Lou get wind of a sacred medallion that supposedly leads to a hidden treasure within the long lost temple of Klaris. Of course, they're not the only interested parties. A ruthless business woman and the cult of Klaris wouldn't mind getting their mitts on the treasure as well. Our bumbling heroes eventually secure the medallion but, of course, Lou ends up eating it. However, a quick trip to a doctor with a fluoroscope reveals the directions, and soon, all the rivals are on their way. Little do they know, the living mummy of Klaris awaits them all. This is on the lesser end of Abbott and Costello's trip through Universal's oeuvre of classic monsters, but it's still got more than enough fun moments to keep you entertained. The three mummy bit in particular never gets old. Legend says the Holy Family spent some time in Cairo during their flight from Herod. One spot that commemorates this visit is Saint Virgin Mary's Coptic Orthodox Church, also knowns as The Hanging Church because of its suspended nave. Cairo is also the location where the Coptic saint Simon the Tanner is claimed to have performed the moving the Mokattam Mountain. When the Muslim Caliph al-Muizz challenged the patriarch Abraham to prove the truth of the verse where Jesus claims if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can move a mountain, the Holy Virgin appeared and sent Abraham to Simon, who carried out the miracle. After witnessing the mountain move, the Caliph converted to Christianity. The Catholic Church does not formally recognize or venerate St. Simon the Tanner, but does recognize the broader Coptic Orthodox Church as having valid sacraments and apostolic succession in some contexts, which is more important. The Monster That Challenged the World (1957) An earthquake off the coast of California unleashes giant mollusks, though you'll have to take the movie's word for that as the monsters look more like deranged caterpillars. After a few swimmers get munched on, the Navy sends in divers who dispatch one of the creatures and retrieve a large egg, which they send to a nearby lab for study. While the military deals with a horde of mollusks making their way through the state's irrigation canals, the egg at the lab is accidentally allowed to hatch, setting loose a mollusk to menace the lead scientist and her young daughter. To be fair, the movie's title is a bit misleading as the monster only challenges a handful of swimmers and one little girl, but this is enjoyable '50s fare nonetheless. Plus, kudos to the filmmakers for actually building a full-sized giant monster to interact with the actors on set. He's pretty nifty, despite not being very mollusk-like. I guess since many mollusk are such slimy little things, they don't get a lot of attention in Christian symbology. However, there are a few paintings like Carlo Crivelli’s The Virgin and Child with Saints Francis and Sebastian and Francesco del Cossa’s The Annunciation which prominently feature snails. At the time these paintings were created, snails were believed to reproduce asexually, either by being fertilized by dew or just spontaneous generation. Trusting the science of his time, Dominican friar Francis of Retz wrote in Defensorium inviolatae virginitatis Mariae: “If the dew of the clear air can make the sea snail pregnant, then God in virtue can make His mother pregnant.” And that's how a simple mollusk became a popular analogy for the Virgin Birth, and by extension the Incarnation of Christ, in medieval/Renaissance religious art.