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Situation Critical
Spoiler Alert: The Sex Wasn’t That Great by Dan Savage I’m 27-year-old Italian guy. I just got out of a situationship with a woman five years older than me. It was a total mess. She wanted everything to revolve around her and be in control of everything because she had bad relationships in the past. She wanted to date other people, but I was always against it. Not because I wanted to control her, but because she literally said she enjoyed “betraying and lying for fun.” We argued a lot about her love of talking about her exes. That was her favorite argument. She thought I was jealous, but I was just annoyed about being constantly compared to guys from her past and those comparisons stung because — spoiler alert — the sex we had wasn’t that great. To make matters worse, she would complain to me during sex that all the men in her life had “performance issues” with… [ Read more ]

Slog AM: Trump Fails to Mediate War Via Social Media, ICE Has Detained More Immigrants Than Ever, and the Supreme Court Could Give a Shit About Doing Anything About It
The Stranger's morning news roundup. by Megan Seling The War Is Over! (If You Want It): On Monday evening, Israel and Iran supposedly “agreed” to a ceasefire to end a war that began on June 12, according to a delusional Trump and ABC News. Trump posted the news on Truth Social, beginning the statement with an all-caps, “CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE!” as though he was making a drunken toast at a graduation party. He ended the post by signing “DONALD J. TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA” like a bumbling grandpa text messaging his tween grandson for the first time. The man contains multitudes. But It Didn’t Last Long: It’s almost as though senile Truth Social posts don’t carry any actual weight because both countries violated their individual 12-hour ceasefires. Trump responded by, once again, posting on Truth Social: “ISRAEL. DO NOT DROP THOSE BOMBS. IF YOU DO IT IS A MAJOR VIOLATION. BRING YOUR PILOTS HOME, NOW! DONALD J. TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.” lol lol lol this is real life Here’s How Local Officials Feel: KUOW has a roundup of what local elected officials have said in response to Trump’s strikes against Iran. Cantwell is calling for “diplomacy and alliance building” (we’re past that, ma’am) and Murray points out that Trump does not have the unilateral authority to start [a war with Iran].” Okay but he’s just… doing shit. Without authority. So. Speaking of Trump’s Social Media Habits: I’m getting really fucking tired of news outlets “reporting” Trump’s Truth Social rants as “orders” and “statements.” They’re nothing more than hysterical rants by an old man with a phone. Stop giving validity to this nonsense! Stop allowing him to DISCUSS WAR AND FOREIGN AFFAIRS AND FEDERAL ISSUES while hiding behind his phone! Make him do his job! Make him address the people and the press with this shit! AHHHHHH!!!!!!  In Related News: Did you know there is a little portable pillow designed specifically for screaming into? This isn’t an endorsement; I don’t know if it’s any better than any other memory foam-packed pillow. Just something I came across while looking for new ways to relieve my skyrocketing anxiety. It’s cute and it has a grommet so you can just, you know, clip it to a bag and scream on the go.  56,397: According to ICE’s latest data, more than 56,000 immigrants are locked up in ICE facilities across the country. It’s possibly the highest number of detained immigrants in US history. Austin Kocher, a professor at Syracuse University, breaks it down: “Nearly a third of all people held in ICE detention now have no criminal history. … [Since the start of the Trump Administration] There has been nearly a 14x growth in the number of people detained at any one time without criminal histories.” BuT hE sAiD iT wAs AbOuT tHe DaNgErOuS cRiMiNaLs! 56,397 People Now Detained by ICE, Possibly Highest in History Largest growth comes from people with no criminal histories, who now make up a third of ICE detention amid dangerous overcrowding and lucrative contracts for private contractors. austinkocher.substack.com/p/55654-peop...[image or embed] — Austin Kocher, PhD (@austinkocher.com) June 21, 2025 at 6:01 AM It Gets Worse: Yesterday, the Supreme Court allowed the Trump administration to “restart swift removals of migrants to countries other than their homelands.” What does this mean? Justices Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan, and Ketanji Brown Jackson summed it up in their 19-page dissent, writing, “The government has made clear in word and deed that it feels itself unconstrained by law, free to deport anyone anywhere without notice or an opportunity to be heard.”  It Gets Weirder: Florida is building a detention center in the Everglades to “temporarily hold migrants,” and people are calling it “Alligator Alcatraz.” Miami’s mayor argues it could be “devastating” to the environment (duh), but the state’s AG, James Uthmeier, said, “[If] people, get out, there's not much waiting for them other than alligators and pythons. Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide." A totally normal way to think about fellow humans! Not at all psychotic!  Honestly, Get Fucked, ICE: Organizers have cancelled this year’s Duwamish River Festival because participants are concerned about being targeted by immigration enforcement. “My biggest concern was exposing our community members that could be affected by ICE to any danger or safety issues,” organizer Magdalena Angel-Cano told the Seattle Times. “Not even just immigrants. I’m a citizen and have fear just because of the color of my skin and how I look.” Infuriating.  Another Thing to Scream Into: Here’s a nice young woman showing us how to make a Scream Box. Should you need it. Another Way to Relax: Tidepooling! The Seattle Times says the Puget Sound will experience one of the lowest tides of the year this week. It’s the perfect opportunity to spot sea creatures! Check out this really lovely photo essay from Stranger contributor Madison Kirkman to learn more about what kinds of creatures (and queers!) you could run into while canvassing the coastline. There’s something called a nudibranch!!! Cuuuuute!  It’s Election Day in New York: Who’s gonna win the Democratic primary? Cuomo? Mamdani? The New York Times says we probably won’t know tonight. Since it’s a ranked-choice election, voters can choose up to five candidates. If neither guy gets more than 50% of first-place votes, officials will have to tally up the second-through-fifth place votes, which wouldn’t happen until July 1. Here Is a Song I’ve Been Listening to a Lot Lately, So I Don’t Get Lost in the Noise:

Slog AM: Trump Bombed Iran, the DOJ Sues WA for Going After Sex Pests, CM Saka's Still Yelling About Curbs
The Stranger's morning news roundup. by Hannah Murphy Winter Acts of War: On Saturday, Trump ordered the bombing of three nuclear facilities in Iran. In an operation that included seven B-2 stealth bombers, two dozen tomahawk cruise missiles, and 14 “bunker-buster” bombs, the US military claims they severely damaged all three sites, and in the process, took a gamble that none of Trump’s predecessors were willing to bet on—that Iran is too weak to retaliate.  Why? Maybe because Netanyahu asked him to. Maybe because no one showed up to his birthday party. Israel claimed Iran’s nuclear program is an imminent threat, but just a couple months ago, US Director of National Intelligence Tusli Gabbard testified that Iran had not reauthorized their nuclear program. And since the attack, US officials have acknowledged that they didn’t know if Iran had moved their stockpile of enriched uranium before the bombing. Okay, now that we’re through that part of this nightmare, let’s do the weather. It’s officially summer, and we’re looking at a pretty perfect week. No rain, highs in the 60s and 70s. Just a couple cloudy days in the middle. It’s get-outside-and-celebrate-pride weather. Saka’s Yelling at a Curb Again: Last week, Councilmember Rob Saka used his email newsletter to lose his ever-loving mind about the people who opposed his Pet Curb Project. In the email, which PubliCola pointed out was a whopping 2,100 words long, announced the final compromise on the project—including an FAQ about how it’s totally not his pet project. In it, he accused the people who opposed removing an 8-inch curb that blocks illegal left turns into his kids’ preschool of, somehow, simultaneously: supporting Trump’s anti-immigrant policies, being part of the “Defund the Police” movement, and partaking in “White Saviorism.” Someone take his computer away and give him a paper bag to breathe into. Trump Tells WA to Fix It Yerself: Back in November, a bomb cyclone did $34 million of damage to our state. Typically, that’s more than double the amount to trigger FEMA assistance from the federal government. But we all know “typical” doesn’t mean a whole lot anymore. Trump already rejected former Governor Inslee’s request for assistance back in April, and on Friday, Trump doubled down and refused Governor Ferguson’s appeal. “Maybe he’s denying all claims,” you might wonder. Nope—he approved Arkansas Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ (remember her??) appeal in May. Maybe it has something to do with the way we voted last November. DOJ Defends WA Sex Pests: Trump’s Department of Justice announced this morning that it’s suing Washington State over our law requiring Catholic priests to report child abuse. They think that it violates Catholics’ free exercise of religion because it requires them to disclose information shared in confession. I think the DOJ should take a beat and consider whether or not they want to be remembered as pro-child sex abuse. The Onion Reads Congress for Filth: Yesterday, The Onion ran a full-page ad in the New York Times, showing this weekend’s top headline: “Congress, Now More Than Ever, Our Nation Needs Your Cowardice.” “We teeter on the brink of collapse into an authoritarian state,” the paper wrote in their editorial. “That is why, today, The Onion calls upon our lawmakers to sit back and do absolutely nothing.” And this morning, as every member of Congress came back from their recess to find a copy of it in their mailbox.             View this post on Instagram                       A post shared by @brycetetraeder   Teachers’ Pet from Hell: At the University of Florida, student Preston Damsky wrote a paper arguing that the framers of the Constitution never meant for it to apply to all people, just white people. He went on to argue for the removal of voting rights for any non-white Americans, and for shoot-to-kill orders against “criminal infiltrators at the border.” So what did his professor, Trump-nominated judge John L. Badalamenti, do after he read all of that hateful bile? He gave him the “book award,” naming Damsky as the best student in the class. This triggered a nightmarish campus debate about “freedom of speech” that will make your eyeballs bleed. The school’s interim dean, Merritt McAlister, defended the decision, arguing that professors aren’t allowed to engage in “viewpoint discrimination.” She also invoked the idea of “institutional neutrality,” an increasingly popular policy among college administrators that argues that schools shouldn’t take public positions on “hot-button issues.” You know, like not shooting immigrants. The Mass Shooting that Wasn’t: Yesterday in Wayne, Michigan, a 31-year-old man wearing a tactical vest and holding a handgun and a rifle opened fire outside a Michigan church filled with congregants. He shot one person in the leg before a parishioner rammed him with his pickup truck, and security staff shot and killed him. The local police chief said the shooter appeared to be suffering from a mental health crisis. Man Stabbed in U District: SPD reported that at 4:30 a.m. Sunday morning, a man was found with life-threatening injuries on 47th and University Way NE. He was taken to Harborview, but later died. If you know anything about it, you can call the Violent Crimes Tip Line at 206-233-5000. Stop Driving Into This Poor Woman’s Home: Speeding cars on Rainier Avenue have careened off the street and into Madelyn Jung’s Skyway home four times just in the last year. According to the Seattle Times, “speeding and erratic drivers have been crashing into homes and parked cars for years along this 2-mile stretch of Rainier at the very south end of Seattle.” SDOT has added guardrails and an enhanced crosswalk with flashing yellow lights, but they haven’t helped. Let’s get some stop signs and speed bumps so Jung can stop dragging cars out of her backyard please? Movin’ on Up: If you’ve ever contributed to Washington Democrats, you know Shasti Conrad’s name—because it’s appeared in your email relentlessly to ask you if you can find just five more dollars in your couch cushions to support the local party. Now, the two-term leader of the WA Dems is leaving the nest. In the party’s longest-ever election, she was chosen as vice-chair of the Democratic National Committee. The DNC has been doing some soul searching, and some people in the party (*cough* Adam Smith) have argued that we lost the last election because the Democratic Party has shifted oh-so-far left. Conrad has called bullshit on that. She’s argued that Dems don’t need to drastically change their message or positions to win elections, they just have to improve how they communicate with voters. Wanna Make Your Week a Little Gayer? It’s the last week of Pride Month, and if you know what's good for you, you’ll use The Stranger’s Comprehensive Pride Listings to squeeze every ounce of glitter and leather and, *ahem* other things, out of it. Go to Tush! Find out what’s so gay about Frasier! Check out Queer Country Dance Night! Go get your queer joy. You deserve it.

I Saw U: Protesting at the No Kings Rally, Celebrating Your Birthday on First Hill, and Carrying an Amoeba Records Tote
Did you see someone? Say something! by Anonymous transmasc night knight at The Wash Blue/white striped shirt, multiple ear piercings, smile that could melt ice. You put your hand on my chest at the bar and called me beautiful. Drinks? Bothell No Kings Protest: Vintage-style UW (?) shirt Me: Black "EGG THE RICH" shirt. We made fun of the truck with the "Let's go Brandon" flag. At the end: You said goodbye; I chickened out. Lunch? gimlet on first hill It was your 41st birthday, we had drinks and I walked you home. Was too dumb to get your number. Hope you forgive my dumb ass Blundstones and stepladder tattoo on the way to No Kings Me: tall, mustachioed, and wearing the world's grubbiest Carhartts, also headed to No Kings See you at the next rally? I saw you in front of Boren Avenue I said your dog was cute And you said so are you You wore orange and i turned red and couldn’t ask for your number convinced you weren’t flirting. offering a kind word about my drawing in redmond: I was sitting by the side of the road, sketching. You passed by. Our eyes met, there was a flash. lmk if you noticed it too Music Heads at the North Aurora L.A. Fitness You always come to the gym with your Amoeba Records tote; you smiled at my Linda Lindas shirt once. Let's spot each other and share playlists? Planchette! You liked my earrings. I think you are cute. Oujia like to go out? Is it a match? Leave a comment here or on our Instagram post to connect! Did you see someone? Say something! Submit your own I Saw U message here and maybe we'll include it in the next roundup!

What the SCOTUS Decision on Trans Care Means for Washington
The Supreme Court upheld Tennessee’s ban on gender-affirming puberty blockers, hormones, and surgery for anyone under 18. The implications are serious. It’s not good by any stretch of the imagination, but the ruling itself is narrow, legal experts and advocates say. Protective laws in states like Washington are not “directly” affected by this decision, legal and policy experts say. This decision tells us nothing about other laws that discriminate against transgender people on the basis of sex, or how the Court is going to characterize those other laws. It also doesn’t tell us how the Court would rule in a case where it’s clear the law is motivated by animus, or hatred, a question before the courts in other trans rights cases. by Vivian McCall The Supreme Court upheld Tennessee’s ban on gender-affirming puberty blockers, hormones, and surgery for anyone under 18. What does that mean? The impact of this case, US v. Skrmetti, will have a tremendous impact on trans kids and their families living in the 27 states that have banned trans care in some way. Families with the means are likely to move to states where this medical care is legal. Those who can’t afford it may have no choice but to stay. The implications are serious. It’s not good by any stretch of the imagination, but the ruling itself is narrow, legal experts and advocates say. Protective laws in states like Washington are not “directly” affected by this decision, legal and policy experts say. This decision tells us nothing about other laws that discriminate against transgender people on the basis of sex, or how the Court is going to characterize those other laws. It also doesn’t tell us how the Court would rule in a case where it’s clear the law is motivated by animus, or hatred, a question before the courts in other trans rights cases. Some Necessary Legalese The question before the Court in US v. Skrmetti was whether Tennessee’s ban, SB1, violated the 14th Amendment's Equal Protection Clause. When a court is evaluating if a law like Tennessee's violates this clause, it must decide if it distinguishes between people on the basis of a protected characteristic such as race or sex. Different characteristics are given different levels of judicial “scrutiny.” The higher the level of scrutiny, the more a government must do to prove its law is in the necessary interest of the state, several legal experts told The Stranger. “Suspect” cases that involve race, religion, national origin and lack of citizenship are held to the highest level of scrutiny. “Quasi-suspect” cases on sex and gender are in the middle. “Rational bias,” applied when there is no suspect class, is the lowest bar of judicial review. It takes very little to survive rational basis review. All a government like Tennessee’s has to prove is that its law is “rationally” related to a legitimate interest like regulating health care, which is exactly what happened in Skrmetti. The Court ruled that Tennessee’s ban, which allows cisgender and intersex kids to get the same hormonal and surgical treatments for different medical reasons, did not violate the Equal Protection Clause because the law did not discriminate against transgender people’s gender or sex. It discriminated against their age and medical diagnosis, which are not protected characteristics. “This case carries with it the weight of fierce scientific and policy debates about the safety, efficacy, and propriety of medical treatments in an evolving field. The voices in these debates raise sincere concerns; the implications for all are profound,” Chief Justice John Roberts wrote in the majority opinion. “The Equal Protection Clause does not resolve these disagreements. Nor does it afford us license to decide them as we see best.” It’s tortured logic. There’s nothing fierce about the “debate” over trans medicine, which is neither new nor experimental. There are voices raising “concerns,” but they don’t carry the same weight as the scientific consensus that these treatments are safe and effective. The myth that trans youth are rushed into hormones and surgery has no basis in fact. Consider that Tennessee's one dedicated gender clinic for kids performed about five top surgeries a year before Republicans pressured it to pause all surgeries in 2022. The Justices voted along ideological lines. In her dissent, liberal Justice Sonya Sotomayor wrote the Court retreated from judicial review where it mattered most. What Does This Mean For Other Cases? Like the Dobbs decision on abortion, the Court has punted decisions about trans care for kids to the state legislatures, which has devastated trans people in red states. But the decision doesn’t kill protective laws in blue states like Washington or prevent lawmakers from strengthening those protections. It’s likely that opponents of trans care will argue the Skrmetti decision allows them to enact new laws without triggering heightened scrutiny, but an important legal question remains open, says Elana Redfield, Federal Policy Director at the Williams Institute, a think tank at University of California, Los Angeles School of Law that researches LGBTQ people. “The Court notably, quite significantly, didn’t decide whether transgender status merits higher scrutiny, because in this case, they found the classification wasn’t based on transgender status,” she says. “Even though we saw some inklings from various members of the court as to how they might rule on the issue—its full factual development has not yet been presented to the Court.” In fact, the Court noted repeatedly that it did not feel that intentional discrimination was raised in this case, which was striking, Redfield says. Discrimination was a big part of oral arguments, even if the Justices were ignorant of that discrimination. At one point, when Justice Amy Coney Barrett raised the possibility of creating a new “suspect” class for transgender people, she said she was unaware of any history of laws targeting transgender people before the military ban during Trump’s first term. ACLU Attorney Chase Strangio responded by reciting some of that history, including laws criminalizing cross-dressing and old statutes that threw gay and trans people into the same group. “It seemed pretty clear that the parties were arguing that these bans were a form of discrimination,” she says. “It felt to me like a core component of the argument being made by both the US and the plaintiffs.” Basically, if the court felt that wasn’t argued, the Equal Protection argument remains on the table for other trans medical cases, or for issues like sports and identification documents. There’s also the argument that even under rational basis, the law is motivated by a discriminatory animosity toward trans people. There’s also the matter of President Donald Trump’s Executive Order to ban all forms of gender-affirming care for people under 19, which Washington, Oregon, and Minnesota are now fighting in federal court. Equal Protection is part of their case—not under the 14th Amendment, but Equal Protection in due process under the 5th Amendment—but so is federal overreach. The lawsuit argues Trump doesn’t have the power to criminalize medical practices in Washington or enact funding restrictions over Congress’s head. “The actual holding of the case really says nothing about the many other issues at play in the many other cases challenging the Trump administration’s assault on trans people and their humanity,” says Vanessa Hernandez, Integrated Advocacy Director at the ACLU of Washington. What Does This Mean for Washington? The decision does not directly affect Washington’s laws. In this state, transgender people are protected under the Washington Law Against Discrimination and the Gender Affirming Treatment Act, which requires health insurers in this state to cover any and all trans care from surgery to laser hair removal. Transgender people are already moving to flee discriminatory laws in red states. Danni Askini, Executive Director of the Seattle trans advocacy organization Gender Justice League, says about 2,000 of them have reached out to her organization for support in the last year. The state can expect more kids and their families to come from states with bans like Idaho, Montana, Utah and Wyoming. There are questions as to whether our healthcare infrastructure can handle that influx of new patients, or what other tricks the federal government has up its sleeves. Anecdotally, advocates say we’re far from a crisis point, but they have heard of longer wait times to see doctors. A recent Williams Institute study that analyzed data from 133 gender-affirming care providers in states without care bans found that more than half reported more demand from children and adults due to recent legislation. They reported seeing hundreds of out-of-state patients. While most reported short waitlists, some were staggeringly long: 4 percent said over 300 people were waiting for an appointment. Askini, who co-teaches a class on gender-affirming care at University of Washington School of Medicine, says many hospital systems in the area are working to train residents on trans care and expand continuing education for doctors. But even Askini hasn’t been able to reestablish gender-affirming care since moving back to Washington three months ago. “I’m scrounging my last [hormone] patches, cutting them in half, stretching them out, because it’s really hard to find a gender-affirming primary care physician,” she says. “I’m one of the most known trans activists in Washington state and even I can’t get primary healthcare.” Gender Justice League recently issued a call for trans people to stockpile their hormones. It has serious concerns about access, given the federal government’s aggressive stance on trans people generally.. “I don’t think there’s reason to panic,” Askini says. “I think the biggest concern that I have is this opens the door and emboldens our opposition to try and pass an adult ban.” Jaelynn Scott, Executive Director of Lavender Rights Project, which provides services to Black and Indigenous trans people, is concerned about the continued threats to federal funding putting indirect pressure on hospitals to “chip at the wall” of gender-affirming care, she says. Seattle Children’s, an enormous research institution that depends on millions in federal grants, has already flipflopped on offering transgender surgery for youth since Trump took office. “The recommendation from our organization is to lean into leadership and not panic,” Scott says. “We are very privileged here with an attorney general and a governor and a state that is supportive of our communities—and we need to be leading the way on how to resist. Instead of panicking, we need people to go into action and to start paying attention to their siblings in other states who will be facing immediate loss of access to care.”


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